Bye-bye Clawzilla!

Cats, I have good news.  Clawzilla is gone!  And, I don’t think she’ll be back.  Here is what happened:

While I was looking out of the window this morning, I heard Clawzilla growl at Fraidycat (Fraidy), “Gimme some more food—now!”

To my surprise, Fraidy said, “No.  I won’t do it.  I am sick of you pushing me around!” Then, she clawed Clawzilla in the face.

After she did that, it got very quiet in the alley.  Then Clawzilla growled, “You will be very sorry that you messed with me, Fraidy!”  Then, she extended her claws and got ready to beat up Fraidy.  All of us were terrified because Clawzilla looked as if she would kill her.

God, please help us, I prayed.

Just as she was about to pounce, a deep voice said, “That’s. Enough. Clawzilla.”  It was Bruno!  Then he hissed, “Leave her alone or you will have to deal with me, Clawzilla.  And you don’t want that.”

“Yeah, right!  You are an old, scrawny cat.  I’ll get you after I get Fraidy!” Clawzilla replied.

Then, she pounced at Fraidy.  But before she could get to her, I heard the strangest sound that I’ve ever heard a cat make come from Bruno’s mouth, “Keeyoooooowwww!”

Then, he made moves that I didn’t know a cat could make.   He caught Clawzilla in mid-pounce and flipped her into the dumpster.  And, he got her good with his claws.  Clawzilla fought hard, but Bruno both defended himself and kept flipping her into the dumpster.  Finally, after she’d been almost been knocked unconscious, Clawzilla gave up.

“This is the end of your reign of terror around here, Clawzilla.  Either behave, or get out of our neighborhood,” Bruno stated.

“I don’t have to behave.  I am Clawzilla.  I can do whatever I want,” Clawzilla hissed.  No one was scared of her though.  In fact, we were laughing at her because, well—how can I put this delicately—OK, because she was covered with poop!   That happened because during one of her many landings into the dumpster, she fell into the bag full of my dirty litter that my Mom had just thrown out.

“Not in our neighborhood you can’t,” we yowled as one.

After that, Clawzilla said, “Fine!  I’m leaving.  But, I’ll be back and you’ll be sorry—especially you, Bruno.”

Then she slowly stalked off to terrorize another neighborhood.  I don’t think that will work for her, though.  We’ve put out an All Cats Bulletin on her, so all of the cats in the area will know who they’ll be dealing with.  And, Bruno said he will be happy to travel anywhere to stop her from harming another kitten.

So, she is gone and we are happy. I did ask Bruno where he learned the moves he made.  He just smiled mysteriously and said, “My Mom loved to watch karate movies, and I paid a lot of attention to them.”

I hope that he’ll teach me how to do those moves of his someday.  In the meantime, though, I am just happy that she’s gone.  Oh, and as for that Mom of mine?  I’m happy to report that she’s paying more attention to me.  I’ll tell you more about that later.  Right now, I’ve got to go.  All of this drama has exhausted me!

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