Mom Is Taking Credit for My Blog!

Hello, cats. I am sorry that I haven’t posted for long. I was busy being the Construction Watcher, and keeping an eye on that Mom of mine. So, I was too lazy . . . err . . .busy to post. However, I have to tell you about my Mom taking credit for my blog!

I found out she did that when my Mom said, “Hey, Gracie come here, and let’s have a nice Momma to Kitty talk.” Even though these talks usually don’t go well, since they mean that she’s going to tell me something that I won’t like, such as going to abandon me to go to that job of hers, I decided to join her at the speaker. Here is how the rest of the conversation went:

Mom: Grace, I have something to tell you, and you may not like it.

Me: Now what?

Mom: Grace, I have good news and bad news. First, let me tell you the good news. Grace, a lot of my friends have been endorsing me for my skills on LinkedIn. They say I’m good at Creative Writing, Editing and Blogging.

Me: So? What does that have to do with me? After I thought that, I glared at her.

Mom: Grace, why are you giving me such a dirty look?

Me: Because I can.

Mom: Wow! I feel like you know what I’m going to say next. OK, Grace, the bad news is that my friends are endorsing me because they think I’m writing your blog—

At that point in the conversation, cats, I yowled so loudly that my Mom jumped almost as high at the refrigerator. Then, I stalked away before I clawed her face off. However, I am furious about this. I have worked my paws off typing everything on this blog, and she gets the credit. That’s not fair! I will punish her later, but in the meantime I will give her a kitty concert that she will never forget like this:

Grace in Concert 
(Cats, double left-claw the blue letters above to hear my beautiful singing voice!  It takes a long time to download, but I guarantee that it’s worth the wait.)

I’m going to go for now. I can hardly wait to treat her to more of my singing. I’ll also be busy planning other ways to get even with her. Type to you later, cats!

Legal Disclaimer: The above video may disturb you. If so, too bad. You can’t sue a cat!

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It’s 9:30 AM and I’m Already in Trouble!

I'm in Trouble---Again

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi cats. You are not going to believe this, but it’s only 9:30 AM human time, and I’m already in trouble! I know I’m posting this later, but that’s the time when the events described in this post actually happened. This problem started when that woman and I were curled up on the pillow and having a nice snuggie. Here what she said and I thought as this situation developed:

Mom: Come here Gracie. We can have a nice snuggie!

Me: Oh all right, if that’s what makes you happy. I’ll jump up on the pillow with you. Here I am!

Mom: Let me rub your belly . . .

Me: Ahhh—yes! That feels good. Now scratch my back. OK, now scratch me behind my ears. Thanks! Purr, purr, purr . . .

Mom: You’re my good girl, and I love you . . . z, Z—

Our state of bliss was interrupted by a loud BAM! BAM! BAM! at the door. I knew it was a stranger so I quickly took evasive action. Unfortunately, I was in such a hurry that I clawed my Mom’s finger. She yelled, “Bad cat!” Then, she answered the door.

The person knocking was the FedEx guy. He said, “I have a package here for Grace E. Catt. Yes, Grace E. Catt . . .” Then, he looked at my Mom like she was crazy when she opened the door, especially when she said, “Do you want me to sign as Grace E. Catt?” He told her, “No. You are the person answering the door. Sign as yourself!”

Me: (while under the bed) Yes! It’s the treats I’m supposed to review from chewy.com. This is going to be a great day!

Mom: (after the FedEx guy left, and I came out from under the bed to get my treats apologize to her) Bad cat! You don’t claw Momma—ever! You can forget about getting those treats today.”  After saying that she scruffed me!

Me: Mom, you have to sleep sometime, and then I’ll get you for scruffing me. Now—give me my treats! OW! You didn’t have to scruff me again!

This is so unfair, cats! I mean, I barely scratched her. Here is a picture of her “injury”:

Mom?  I Barely Scratched You!

Mom? I Barely Scratched You!

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, she was not hurt badly. Also, it’s not my fault that her finger was in the way of my escape from stranger danger. This is not fair, and I’m mad! However, I will pretend that I am sorry for what I did until she gives me my treats. Then, I’ll get her when she least expects it. I’ll tell you what happened and/or review the treats in my next post. Also, I will post about the construction destruction, after I get my treats. Bye for now, cats.

All Is Well—for Now

Hi cats.  I just wanted to let you know that all is well with my Mom and that flirting of hers.  I was going to act sick to make her stay home, but then I remembered that might get me sent to the vet.  So, I put her on a guilt trip by giving her the saddest looks I could come up with before she left.  I even managed to make tears come to my eyes.

I think it worked because she came home early and told me she was sorry for leaving me at home alone.  So, I won after all!  I’m very happy about that.  I’ve got to go, though.  I think I see a really good-looking male cat by our window, so I want to flirt with him welcome him to the neighborhood.  I’m just being friendly because I am not a flirt like my Mom is!

In my next posts, I will tell all of you about how we cats took over the construction that is going on in our neighborhood.  Until then I hope all of you have a great night, and remember to keep those humans of yours under control!

Grace

How I Stopped my Mom from—FLIRTING!

Hi cats. Here is the post that I promised you about how I stopped my Mom from being a flirt.

This whole problem started when she took longer to wash her clothes in the laundry room. When that happened, I figured she was fighting for washers and dryers. Well, cats, that’s not why she was taking so long. She was taking forever to do her laundry because she was talking to a male human in the laundry room. I found out about that from my friends who occasionally spy on her.

I solved that little problem by going in the window and acting crazy whenever that guy peeked at our apartment. After my latest display, I think I have scared him away—forever. However, that didn’t stop my Mom! The next flirtatious move that she made was when she flirted with the AT&T guy. Here is the conversation that she had with him:

Mom: How do you climb that big pole all by yourself?

AT&T Guy: If you stick around, I’ll show you. After he said that, he puffed out his chest and threw two hooks into the pole, and began to climb it. My Mom watched him with interest. However, she had something to do so she sighed and said, “Well, I’ve got to go—”

“Are you through looking?” the AT&T guy interrupted.

“Yes,” my Mom replied. Then she added, “I don’t want to distract you.” After she said that, she went back into our courtyard where the guy couldn’t see her.

I thought that problem was over with, but you will faint when you hear what happened next, cats. A few days later, my Mom walked out of our apartment and guess who was there? The AT&T guy! My Mom said “Hi.” to him and he reminded her of how he’d been “the guy on the pole last week.” Thankfully she had something to do that day so she told him she had to go. I can’t put what he said after she left on a family blog. However, he has given up on flirting with my Mom.

At that point cats, I’d had it. So, I did several things to stop my Mom from flirting including:

  • Pretending I was indifferent to her by curling up in a ball like this:Yes, I Am Ignoring You, Mom!

 

 

 

 

 

  • Throwing up a lot which both grossed her out and kept her too busy cleaning up after me to flirt.
  • Yowling, howling and generally acting crazy around our windows to discourage any of those men she’s flirting with from coming to our home.

It’s been a long battle, but I think I’ve won. It’s been a week since my Mom has flirted with anyone. Oh! She’s talking to me. Let me see what she has to say . . .

“Grace! I’m going out with my friend B. today to a festival. I wonder if there will be any cute guys there?”

Oh, no. No! I’ve got to go cats. I think I’ll pretend I’m sick to make her stay home. I’ll tell you what happened in my next post.

Update

Hi cats. How are you? I hope that all is well with you.

I am sorry that I haven’t posted for so long. I have been very busy controlling my Mom, who was turning into a flirt. Also, I have been working with all of the cats in my neighborhood to control the Construction Destruction that is devastating our neighborhood. As of today, we cats have taken care of most of the problems with it. So, I have time to post now. My next post will be about how I stopped my Mom from being a flirt. Type to you soon cats!

Please Pray for my Mom—She Got Into an Accident!

Hi, cats.  I am sorry that I haven’t posted for so long.  I have been busy with controlling dealing with my Mom who is turning into a flirt, the mean squirrel family outside that likes to torment me, and watching the Construction Destruction on our street.

I will post more, but right now, I am asking all of you to pray for my Mom.  She got into an accident yesterday!  Some crazy human rear-ended her while she was driving.  Mom says that she feels OK, and that no damage was done (well, not much) to her car, but she isn’t sure if she’s really OK.  So, I am worried.  I mean who will feed me if turns out that she’s hurt and doesn’t know it yet?

So, if you wish, please pray for her.  I’m going for now because that miserable squirrel who knows I can’t get it is laughing at me, so I have to make him respect me.  My next post will be about how my Mom is turning into a flirt and what I plan to do about that. Type to you later, cats.

Construction Destruction I

Hello, cats.  As promised, I am posting about what Mom calls the “construction destruction” by our house.  I am going to tell this story with pictures and words.

First, here is a picture that shows what the view out of our window looked like before and after the construction on our street began:

Our Street Before and After the Construction Destruction!

Just in case you didn’t notice, there are trees missing in the right side of this picture.  The people doing the construction chopped down three trees before they began fixing our street.  Cats, it was horrible. I will never forget the screams of the baby birds and squirrels whose parents couldn’t rescue them in time.  We cats had a moment of silence for them.  Here is another picture that shows what’s left of one of the trees that they lived in.

100_0836

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, there is nothing left of it.  The other two trees are in the same shape.  Now, look at what they put up right by where one of the trees was:

They Replaced a Tree with a Toilet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, they replaced a tree with a toilet.  I am going back to my post at the window to see what they’ll do next:

Me Watching Construction Destruction

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, I need your help, cats.  If you have any ideas about how to stop the humans who are doing what they call “construction” please post. We’ve already taken care of the Port-a-Potty, but that’s a story for a different post.  Thanks!

What my Mom’s Been Up To

Hi cats. I am sorry that I have not posted for so long. I’m here now, though, and I have to tell you about what my Mom’s been up to. Here are just a few of the things that she’s done/have happened to her:

1.  She had two guys ask her out on a date. I am not happy about that! Thankfully, she told both of them, “No.” If she ever says, “Yes,” though, I have a plan for any male human who shows up at our house that will make him run away screaming. Let’s just say that it involves my claws and a sensitive part of the male anatomy.

2: She bought two new pair of jeans, and is driving me crazy by asking me if they fit her well. When she does that, I glare at her because I am a cat, not a fashion adviser!

3. She has to get up earlier for work sometimes. So, I have to deal with a crabby, half-asleep human on her early work days.

4. Worst of all, she accidentally reported our web address to Stop Forum Spam!

As you can see, my Mom is prone to getting into trouble. So, keeping an eye on her, as well as controlling looking out for the cats in my neighborhood keeps me busy. However, I will be posting more often.  My next post will be about the humans who are ruining our neighborhood by—

CONSTRUCTION DESTRUCTION

Until then, I hope that all is well with you, and that—

“Grace?  Did you see the guy driving the forklift?  He’s cute!”

Sigh.  Gotta go, cats!

Grace

The Latest Information on the Cats in My Neighborhood

Hello cats. Here is what’s been going on with my secret friends. If you are new to my blog, here are two links to previous posts that will give you some background on the cats that I’m typing about:

http://graciesblog.com/home/2011/10/21/the-cats-outside-of-my-window

http://graciesblog.com/home/2012/04/22/my-new-friends-in-the-neighborhood

Mimi and her Kittens: That miserable Mimi is still living in the storage space next to my apartment. I thought she and the kittens would move now that they can survive on their own. Sadly, that’s not the case. They are all still here except for her son, Herb Jr., who ran away from home to join a feral cat colony down the street. I hope that Mimi decides to move soon, because I may kill her if she stays here for much longer!

Simone: Simone is as mysterious as ever. I still don’t know exactly where she lives, or if she has a home at all. Simone is helping the cats in our neighborhood find warm places to stay when it’s cold or snowing outside. Unfortunately, a lot of those cats end up staying in the storage spaces of my apartment complex.

Angelina: Angelina is also helping cats to find warm places to stay. And, she is helping Mimi. When she’s not doing that, she is busy making me participate in all of her efforts to help everyone. I am sick of doing that and hope that it warms up soon so that all of those cats will go away!

Bruno and Hazel: Bruno and Hazel have fallen in love! They are the closest thing to a human married couple that I’ve ever seen. They have made a home in a nice big box that one of our neighbors left outside. And, they have decided they’d rather live outside than live without each other. That’s romantic, but I hope they don’t freeze out there!

Continue reading

I’m Going to KILL that Mom of mine!

Hello, cats. I know that I said that I’d post about my friends in the neighborhood. However, my Mom did such a horrible thing to me yesterday that I just had to post about it!

Yesterday, I knew the day was not going to be good when I heard a knock on the door. I do not like strangers, so I took evasive action by hiding under the bed. The male human that was knocking said he was here to set up our new phone and Internet service. However, I noticed that he was checking out my Mom more than the phones or computer that he was supposed to set up. So, I rustled under the bed just to let him know that I was there, and that if he even touched my Mom, I’d claw his eyes out. He chuckled and said, “Oh, my cat hides too.” Mom smiled at him and said, “Oh, then you know what it’s like.” I think that man just said that to get my Mom interested in him. I’ll bet he doesn’t even have a cat!

Next, my Mom did something that shocked me. After saying, “I’ve got to go and do the laundry. I’ll be right back,” she walked out of the door, and left me alone in the house with a stranger!  I was terrified because that man could have been a psycho cat killer in a phone guy uniform. So, I stayed under the bed while plotting ways that I would claw his eyes out if he tried to hurt me.

Thankfully, that didn’t happen. However, I am furious about this—especially since my Mom kept leaving me alone with that man so that she could “finish her laundry.” I mean, what is more important to her—her clothes or her cat? After two hours of horror, that man finally left. That gave me plenty of time to figure out ways to punish her. Here are just a few of the things that I’ve done to her so far:

  • I left a nasty surprise for her in front of my litter box. Sadly, she didn’t step in it.
  • I threw a ball at her at 5:00 A.M hoping to leave a bruise. She thought I was playing with her. I wasn’t.
  • I am tearing up the closet right now. She just yelled at me, so I’ll stop—for now.

I have other things that I’m planning to do to her, like clawing up her clothes when she goes to sleep tonight. Right now, though, I’m going to be very nice to her so that she doesn’t know what I’m up to. I’ll be checking this blog after she goes to sleep, so if any of you cats have ideas about other ways that I can punish her please post. Thanks!