Pretending to Be Sick Isn’t a Good Way to Get Attention After All!

Hi cats.  In my last post, I told you how I got lots of attention from my Mom by pretending to be sick.  Well, I found out that trick can backfire on you.  That’s what happened to me!

At first, as I posted before, I got lots of love and attention from my Mom by pretending to be sick.  So, when she did three loads of laundry while ignoring me, I puked . . . errr . . . coughed up a hairball all over our blanket.  I figured that would get her attention.  Well, it did, but not in the way I wanted.  Would you believe that woman yelled at me?  She shrieked, “Grace how could you?  I have been doing laundry for three hours.  Now, I’ll have to take the blanket to the Laundromat!”  Then, she gave me a dirty look and walked out of the door mumbling, “I can’t even have peace in my own home!”

I didn’t like that.  So, I coughed up another hairball which she stepped into as soon as she got home.  I thought that she’d feel sorry for me.  She didn’t.  After washing her sock off, she gave me a look that could have curdled milk.  Then, she said, “OK, Grace.  You’re not getting any better.  So, I guess I’m going to have to take you to the vet.”  I wanted to scream, but I didn’t.  Instead, I started running around the apartment, and jumping up on the refrigerator to show her that I’d made a complete recovery.

Thankfully, that worked, so I didn’t end up going to the vet.  However, I found out that pretending to be sick is not a good way to get attention.  So, I will stop doing that.  And, I’d suggest that you not try this trick to get your human/s attention.  It could cause you to end up at up at the vet’s office!  I’ve got to go, though.  Trixie’s at the window, and I want to see what’s been going on in the neighborhood. Type to you later, cats!

I Found a Great Way to Get Mom’s Attention—Acting Sick!

Hi cats.  I am glad that I finally have a chance to type to you!  Mom has been hogging the computer, and on the one day that she wasn’t, I wasn’t feeling good.  I learned something, though.  Being sick gets Mom’s attention.  Here’s what happened:

Mom was so busy with her Christmas shopping, and after-Christmas clearance sale shopping, that she was ignoring me.  So, I did everything I could think of to get her attention.  I tore up the closet.  I yowled out of the window.  I even threw balls at her, hoping she’d get the hint and play with me. Well cats, none of that worked.  So, I gave up and lay down.  Then, I started feeling sick to my stomach.  I was not feeling well, cats.  Here is what I looked like:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I looked so bad that even Mom knew something was wrong.  So, she finally started paying attention to me.  She petted me and asked what was wrong with her “poor baby.”  Now, by the time she did that, I knew that the only thing that was wrong with me was that I needed to cough up a hairball.  However, I liked all of the attention I was getting.  So I didn’t let Mom know that I was really OK.  Instead, I just continued to look sick while meowing sadly at her.

This made her feel even sorrier for me.  So, she continued to pet and snuggle me.  I liked that!  Eventually, she had to go out, but I knew she’d hurry home to see if I was all right.   And, that’s what she did.  So, I have learned that acting sick is a great way to get Mom’s attention.  I’ve got to go, though.  She’s opening the door, and I only have a moment to pretend to be sick again. Type to you later, cats!

Things Are Almost Back to Normal Around Here!

Hi cats. How are you? I hope all of you are having a great Christmas!

I’m happy to report that things are almost normal here again. The tree is up. Here is what it looks like:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, now that it’s up, Mom is no longer snarling or growling. She even told me that she was sorry if she scared me. Then, she wished me a Merry Christmas, and gave me my presents. Best of all, she gave me what most of you know is my favorite food in the world—salmon! So, to the cats who prayed, thank you for your prayers. I think they really helped us out!

Oh! Mom is singing a Christmas carol. I’ll sing with her:

O Christmas tree,
O Christmas tree.
Putting you up was al-most the,
Death of me . . .

Well, I guess that’s why I typed almost normal.  Oh well, she’ll be going to sleep soon.  Then, I will finally have some peace.  So I’ll end this post by wishing all of you a Merry Christmas.  Also, if you wish, please keep praying for my Mom.  She needs it!

Help! It’s Getting Crazy Around Here!

I have to say that in the last two days, Mom has scared me. Things began to get crazy around here when she began putting up that strange thing that humans call a “Christmas tree.” At first, Mom was singing Christmas carols about Jesus while she put together the phoniest-looking tree that I’ve ever seen. That was nice.  But then, as she kept working on it, her mood changed.  She snarled.  She growled.  She kept saying things like, “Who is the idiot who designed this Christmas tree?” and “Why didn’t the cretins who designed this tree make the plugs easier to find?  I could string my own lights faster than trying to get this miserable thing to light up!”  I have never seen her act this way. So, please pray for me, cats!  And, if you want to, please pray for my Mom to be normal again. Thanks!

We Found Callie!

Hi everyone.  I have some great news to report.  We found Callie today!

I have to admit that this morning; I was ready to give up on looking for her.  It had been over a week since she disappeared.  So, I decided to look for her one more time.  Then, if I didn’t find her, I figured that I’d tell the other cats that I’d given up.  As I went to the window, a word kept going through my mind:  Pray.  And, I remembered that Angelina ended the Council of Cats by telling us to do that while we were looking for Callie.  I’d forgotten about that. I thought that I could find Callie all by myself.  Well, that wasn’t working.  So, I prayed, God, I give up!  I can’t find Callie without You.  Will You please help me?

I almost fainted when I heard Him say, Yes.  I didn’t like it when He added; It’s about time that you figured that out, though.

So, I did my usual search routine, but this time, I prayed.  Then, the miracle happened.  I was looking out of our bedroom window when I heard a still small voice say, Gracie, look up.

I replied, “Does that mean I get to see You, God?  Cool!  The other cats will be so jealous.”

I could have sworn I heard Him sigh.  Then I had a strong feeling to look up at the top window of the apartment across the courtyard from us.  So I did that—and I saw a small shape jumping up and down in it.  I figured it was a weird Christmas decoration or something.  Then I heard Him say, Look again.

When I did that, I heard a familiar, “Meow.”  It was Callie!

I was so excited that I fell out of the window.  Then, I yelled, “Hey!  Everybody, look!  I found Callie!”

“I?”

I quickly changed my words.  “Pssst—everyone.  God showed me where Callie was!”

After I said that, every cat in the neighborhood came running to my window.  All of them looked and saw Callie waving at them.  Everyone noticed that she looked very happy.  We wanted to know what happened, so we sent Simone, the Stealth Cat to talk to her.  Simone is a grey cat who can sneak into human homes without them having a clue that she is there.  Simone was gone for a while.  Then, she came back and told us that Callie’s prayers had been answered—she’d found a home with humans who loved her.  After she’d given her report, Simone added, “And, Callie has been trying to let us know where she was ever since she’s been adopted.  However, a certain cat was sleeping on patrol duty.  I wonder who that was?”

I sighed.  Then, I admitted, “It was me.  All of that detective work made me tired.”

There was a long silence as all of the cats glared at me.  Then, Angelina said, “It’s OK.  The main thing is that we found her!”

I was relieved when everyone agreed with her.  Then, all of the cats thanked God in their own ways.  After that, everyone left after Simone promised us that she’d stay in touch with Callie.  I’m looking forward hearing about how she’s doing.  I’ve got to go, though.  Mom is finally home, and I need some attention!

 

I’m Changing my Name to Tommaso!

I just heard about the cat in Italy, Tommaso, that inherited 13 million dollars from his owner. My first thought was, Finally, a human who had their priorities straight!  Mom read me two articles from human publications that told his story: The Daily Telegraph by Nick Squires, and an ABC news blog written by Kevin Dolak. The ABC article had a picture of Tommaso in it. When I looked at it, I saw he looks just like me!  So, I wondered if I could switch places with him. After all, I am a black cat with green eyes. Then I figured out that that probably wouldn’t work. I think they’d notice that I’m not a boy cat.

Next, I thought of e-mailing him and conning getting him to marry me. I gave up on that idea when Mom told me that his email address is being hidden so no one can kidnap or con him. So, for now, I guess I’m going to be Grace. However, I am posting this for you, Tommaso, in case you ever visit this blog. Tommaso, if you are looking for a wife, I am the cat for you! I’ve got to go, though. I have to continue looking for Callie. Type to you later, cats! Oh—and please pass this message on to Tommaso if you know him. Thanks!

What Our Council of Cats Decided to Do About Callie

Sorry to take so long to type, cats.  I was busy on my assignment from the Council of Cats.  If you’re wondering why we had a Council, please read my previous post.  Also, just in case you’re a kitten. and don’t what a Council of Cats is, it is a solemn assembly of cats for a specific purpose.  So, cats who participate in the Conference have to get along.  At least that’s the ideal.  Here is how ours went:

Angelina chaired the Council of Cats that Herb called for.  They held it by my window so that I could participate.  I made sure that Mom was asleep before we started.  Then, Angelina said, “I am chairing this Council of Cats.  I think all of you know that the purpose of this Council is to find Callie.   That means that all of you must be on your best behav—“

“Yowl!  Hsssssssssst!  Get away from Herb, you hussy,” I interrupted when I saw That Hussy was trying to snuggle close to Herb.

“Shut up Grace!  I’ll do whatever I want,” That Hussy growled.

“Oh yeah?  Well. take this,” I yowled.  Then I threw myself at her and hit the window with a loud thwap.

“What’s going on out there?” Mom mumbled in her sleep.

“Stop it you two!  Have you forgotten the most important rule—that we all get along?” Angelina exclaimed.

“Err . . . sorry,” we both mumbled.

Then, the Council continued.  I’m not writing everything about it since snoopy humans have access to this post.  The gist of it was that all of us were assigned areas to search for Callie at.  Then, we exchanged contact information in case one of us found her.  After that, we closed the Conference.

My assignment is to patrol our apartment building.  So, I have to stay in the windows to see if Callie is with any of our neighbors.  So far, I haven’t seen anything and I’m bored stiff.  I will continue to patrol though.  I really want to find her before she gets hurt!

Callie Is Missing!

Hi cats.  I have some bad news to report.  Callie is missing!  Now, in case you don’t know who Callie is, here is an excerpt taken from one of my previous posts:

“Callie is a brown tabby kitten whose humans abandoned her.  She lives in an empty house down the street.  She is cute, so some humans feed her.  No one has given her a home though 🙁   I give her advice, and try to let her know that God loves her.  She doesn’t always believe me, though, because He hasn’t answered her prayer for a home of her own yet . . . .”(Excerpted from my 10/21/11 post).

As you’ve just read, Callie is a naive kitten who has been praying for a home of her own.  I just hope that she didn’t take matters into her own paws and get herself into trouble!  I found out that she was missing from Herb.  He told me that after none of the cats in the neighborhood had seen Callie for a few days, they figured that she was hiding in the abandoned house that she lives in.  So, they went to check on her.  Sadly, after a through catspection, the cats found out that she wasn’t there.  So, they looked everywhere in our neighborhood for her.  So far, no one has even found her paw prints.  Worst of all, Cilly told me that Callie was headed to my house to talk to me about a home that she was thinking about trying to get into.  Unfortunately, I think she visited me when Mom twapped me on the head with the pet bed.  So, I never got to talk to her.  I feel awful about that. I have to go, though. Herb has called a Council of Cats.  I will post later to tell you about what we have decided to do about this scary situation!

It’s My Birthday!

Hi cats. It’s my birthday. OK, it was my birthday yesterday.  However, I wasn’t able to get to the computer in time to type about it.  So, I will refer to my journal and tell you what happened.

My birthday began when my Mom sang “Happy Birthday” to me just as the day they call “December 3rd” began.  Then she told me that I was a “big girl” because I was two years old.  I liked that.  After she woke up later that morning, she gave me some new toys.  I liked them, even though they were the balls that I already have at least thirty of.  Best of all, she gave me a delicious salmon dinner!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, I loved that.  But then, she discovered that she was running out of everything.  So, instead of staying home to give me love and attention I deserved, she went out and shopped which left me home alone. I was not happy!  I told Trixie about what was going on, and she said, “Wait, Grace. Your birthday isn’t over yet.  Maybe she’ll surprise you!” Well, that’s exactly what she did.  After her Walmart trip, Mom walked into the house with a big smile on her face.  Then she said, “Grace, you’re going to love this!”  I was so excited.  I figured that maybe my surprise was a great big salmon dinner that I could eat for days.  So, I jumped up on the refrigerator to meet Mom.  While I did that, she pulled out my “present” and accidentally twapped me on the head with it.  That made me fall off of the refrigerator onto the bookcase.  Then she said, “Grace, this is your beautiful new pet bed.”  This is what it looked like:

As you can see, it’s a huge thing that had just hit me in the head.  So, I glared at her and my “gift”. I think that she knew that I was angry because she apologized.  However, that didn’t stop her from putting that miserable thing into our bed.  Even worse, she told me that I’d love sleeping in it.  I thought, If you think I’m sleeping in that thing, you’re wrong. That monstrosity is a danger to both myself and others!  Then, as you can see, I turned my back on my new “gift”.  That didn’t stop her, though.  She kept trying to get me to like it.  Finally, she gave up and went out to meet her friends leaving me home alone—again.  So, I gave up on my birthday, and went to sleep.

Finally, she came back.  I figured that she’d try to get me to go into that thing she called a “pet bed” again.  Thankfully, that’s not what happened.  Instead, she told me she was sorry that she ignored me.  Then she said it was OK if I didn’t like my gift. Next, after giving me a nice snuggie, she gave me more salmon.  After that, we played together until she got tired. Last, she told me something that made me very happy.  She said, “Grace, I have decided that I’m not going to even try to get another cat.  So, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”  I was so happy to hear that that I pretended that I didn’t hear her mumble, “One of you is enough! That pet bed cost me twenty dollars and I can’t take it back,” under her breath.  So, I was nice to her, and finished my birthday by snuggling at her feet on the couch.  That felt good, and I was glad that my birthday ended well. I just hope that she never decides to surprise me with a strange gift again!

She’s Thinking of Bringing Another Cat Home!

Cats, I cannot believe this. That woman is thinking of bringing another cat home. All I can say is that I don’t think so!

This all started two weeks ago. Mom came home from visiting friends. I knew something was up, because as soon as I rubbed up against her, I smelled another cat and saw that her leg was covered with white fur. I was not happy about that. Then, these horrible words came out of her mouth:
“Grace, I just met another kitty that needs a home. It rubbed up against me outside, and looked hungry and sad. I feel sorry for it. Grace, what do you think about having a nice kitty friend to play with?”

I showed her what I thought about that idea by looking at her like this:

 

 

 

 

 

She got the idea.  “Oh all right, Grace.  I won’t bring that kitty home after all.  Don’t you think that you are being selfish, though?”
Yes, and I don’t care!
Mom sighed.  Then she said, “Oh well. I really can’t afford another cat anyway. So, I probably won’t be bringing it home.”

I figured that I’d won that argument.  She didn’t bring up that cat again. So, I thought that she’d forgotten all about it.  And, after becoming famous, and almost losing all of my friends, I forgot about it too. Then, today she said, “Grace, I can’t get that poor kitty out of my mind. Maybe it’s God’s Will that I bring it home.” Then, she left. I thought that she was going to get the other cat, so I prepared myself for battle. I sharpened my claws. I filed my fangs. And, I practiced my best scary yowls, pounces and fighting moves to welcome my new “friend” with. Thankfully, I didn’t have to do anything because she came home alone. However, I am on my guard now, and I’m ready for battle. There is only room for one cat in this house—me!