Mom Is Taking Credit for My Blog!

Hello, cats. I am sorry that I haven’t posted for long. I was busy being the Construction Watcher, and keeping an eye on that Mom of mine. So, I was too lazy . . . err . . .busy to post. However, I have to tell you about my Mom taking credit for my blog!

I found out she did that when my Mom said, “Hey, Gracie come here, and let’s have a nice Momma to Kitty talk.” Even though these talks usually don’t go well, since they mean that she’s going to tell me something that I won’t like, such as going to abandon me to go to that job of hers, I decided to join her at the speaker. Here is how the rest of the conversation went:

Mom: Grace, I have something to tell you, and you may not like it.

Me: Now what?

Mom: Grace, I have good news and bad news. First, let me tell you the good news. Grace, a lot of my friends have been endorsing me for my skills on LinkedIn. They say I’m good at Creative Writing, Editing and Blogging.

Me: So? What does that have to do with me? After I thought that, I glared at her.

Mom: Grace, why are you giving me such a dirty look?

Me: Because I can.

Mom: Wow! I feel like you know what I’m going to say next. OK, Grace, the bad news is that my friends are endorsing me because they think I’m writing your blog—

At that point in the conversation, cats, I yowled so loudly that my Mom jumped almost as high at the refrigerator. Then, I stalked away before I clawed her face off. However, I am furious about this. I have worked my paws off typing everything on this blog, and she gets the credit. That’s not fair! I will punish her later, but in the meantime I will give her a kitty concert that she will never forget like this:

Grace in Concert 
(Cats, double left-claw the blue letters above to hear my beautiful singing voice!  It takes a long time to download, but I guarantee that it’s worth the wait.)

I’m going to go for now. I can hardly wait to treat her to more of my singing. I’ll also be busy planning other ways to get even with her. Type to you later, cats!

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What my Mom’s Been Up To

Hi cats. I am sorry that I have not posted for so long. I’m here now, though, and I have to tell you about what my Mom’s been up to. Here are just a few of the things that she’s done/have happened to her:

1.  She had two guys ask her out on a date. I am not happy about that! Thankfully, she told both of them, “No.” If she ever says, “Yes,” though, I have a plan for any male human who shows up at our house that will make him run away screaming. Let’s just say that it involves my claws and a sensitive part of the male anatomy.

2: She bought two new pair of jeans, and is driving me crazy by asking me if they fit her well. When she does that, I glare at her because I am a cat, not a fashion adviser!

3. She has to get up earlier for work sometimes. So, I have to deal with a crabby, half-asleep human on her early work days.

4. Worst of all, she accidentally reported our web address to Stop Forum Spam!

As you can see, my Mom is prone to getting into trouble. So, keeping an eye on her, as well as controlling looking out for the cats in my neighborhood keeps me busy. However, I will be posting more often.  My next post will be about the humans who are ruining our neighborhood by—

CONSTRUCTION DESTRUCTION

Until then, I hope that all is well with you, and that—

“Grace?  Did you see the guy driving the forklift?  He’s cute!”

Sigh.  Gotta go, cats!

Grace

Mom Killed Our Coffee Table!

Hi cats.  I am sorry that I have taken so long to post a new entry to this blog.  I have been busy helping Mimi with her new kittens, sleeping and gossiping . . . errr . . . doing my usual activities, and keeping that Mom of mine under control.

Speaking of Mom, guess what she did?  She killed our coffee table with the evil vacuum cleaner.  It happened about a week ago.  While using that miserable machine, Mom bumped a leg of our coffee table which promptly fell off.  Mom thought it would be an easy repair, so she glued the leg back on like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

The table stood for a few days.  Then, for some reason known only to humans, she decided to vacuum again.  When Mom tried to move the coffee table again, the leg fell off and everything flew off of it, and crashed onto the rug.  I laughed so hard that I almost rolled out of the bed I was hiding under.   I’m glad she didn’t see me doing that.  Then, Mom found a unique way to support our table until she could find a new one.  This is what she did:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know, this is pathetic.  Thankfully, Mom found another coffee table today so our house is back to normal again. I hope that killing the coffee table has cured her of her vacuuming habit forever.

That’s about it for now.  Mom is coming and I don’t want her to know that I posted pictures of the coffee table fiasco.  In my next post, I will update you on what’s going on with Mimi and her kittens.  I will also post about what’s going on in my neighborhood.  Until then, I hope all of you are doing great, and have your human/s under control!

Help! I Haven’t Been Able to Post Because Mom Was Doing “Taxes”

Hi cats.  I’m sorry that I haven’t posted for so long. I haven’t been able to because you-know-who has been hogging the computer doing something called, “Taxes”.

Now, I’m not sure what “Taxes” are.  However, after watching Mom for the last few days, I know that they involve filling out tons of forms, require knowledge of “tax laws” that change every year, and are very scary because if your human/s make even one mistake on them, they could get in trouble or even go to jail.  Now, just in case there are any kittens reading this, “jail” is a place that humans go when they’ve been bad.

In jail, humans are caged just like I was when I was at the animal shelter.  However, no one wants to adopt the humans who are in jail.  Instead, they want to keep them there so they won’t do any more bad things.  Now, I don’t understand how putting a human in a cage for years prevents them from doing bad things.  In fact, I think that they’re so mad about being locked up that they want to do more bad things.  I have given up trying to figure stuff like this out, though. It’s just another thing about humans that I don’t understand!

Anyway, back to “Taxes”.  When Mom was doing them, her hair stood on end.  And, she paced around the apartment while mumbling things such as, “Who created this crazy system?” and, “I don’t care if I’m getting a refund.  This is too much work!”  I really was worried about her sanity.  However, after much prayer and drama, she is finally finished with them.  I’m glad because now I can type to everyone again!

In my next post, I am going to update you on what’s been going on with my friends in the neighborhood.  Right now, though, I’m going to lie down.  All of this “Taxes” drama has exhausted me!

The Evil Vacuum Cleaner

Hi cats, especially Vladimer. I am about to post about the evil—

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

vacuum cleaner.  Underneath the garbage bags its camouflage lurks a monster. I am sure that it has hurt or killed many a cat or unwary kitten.  So, I am working hard at destroying it—forever.  So far, though, I’ve only managed to disable it.  I will post more later about my battle against this miserable thing. Until then, if any of you know how to kill it, please post.  Thanks!

They’re Talking to Me Again!

Hello cats.  I’m here to report that those cats who were ignoring me are finally talking to me again.  Here is what happened:

Yesterday, I heard a familiar, “Pssssssssssst . . . Grace!” at the window.  It was Angelina!

I was so happy to see her.  I’d been ignored for days.  So, I said, “Hi Angelina.  It’s so good to see you!  I’m so glad you’re not jealous like those other cats.  They are so mean.  They haven’t talked to me for—”

“Shut up, Grace,” Angelina interrupted.

I almost fainted.  Angelina is always nice to everyone.  So, much to my surprise, I shut up.

Angelina continued, “Grace, you made Callie cry when you bragged about your “fame”.  She wanted to talk to you about the home that she’s been hoping for.  Now, she thinks you are too famous to have anything to do with her.  And, the other cats think you’ve forgotten where you came from.  It wasn’t so long ago when you were out on the streets and starving.  When you were out there would you have appreciated someone bragging about her web site?”

“Errrr . . .no,” I mumbled.

“Well, that what you did to them.  There’s only one way that you are going to have friends again.  You are going to have to tell them that you are sorry for being such a braggart!”

That did it.  I growled and said, “There is no way that I will apologize to them.  I am famous.  I don’t have to apologize to anyone!”

Angelina rolled her eyes and said, “Fine, Grace.  Don’t apologize.  I hope you enjoy being alone.”  Then, she left.

At first, I was mad.  But then, I remembered the cat who bragged to me about how great her home was when I lived on the streets.  And, I remembered how much that hurt.  So, after some thought, I gritted my fangs, went to the window and yowled, “Oh all right!  I’m sorry that bragged so much.  That was wr . . . wr . . . well, you know what I mean.”

At first there was silence.  But then, all of the cats turned and looked at me.  I was so happy when they did that that a tear rolled out of my eyes.  Then, Herb said, “OK, Grace.  We forgive you.  But keep that bragging about your web site to yourself!”

“O-kay,” I mumbled.

Then I heard Cilly’s voice, “And another thing, Grace.

“?”

“Do us all a favor.  Don’t sing!”

I pretended that I didn’t hear her, but I did.  I’ll get her later though.  Right now, I’ve got to catch up on what’s been going on in the neighborhood. Talk or type to you later my adoring public, errrr . . . cats.

 

I’m Famous!

Cats, you are not going to believe this.  I am famous.  Mom just found out that my blog has been mentioned by Franny Syufy at about.com.  I usually don’t thank humans, but thank you, Mrs Syufy.  I really appreciate your mentioning my blog. May God Bless you for doing that!  And, you are right—it doesn’t flow smoothly.  So, I am going to change that.

From now on, I will post once a week about what’s going on with Mom and me.  I will try to achieve that flow that the other cat blogs have.  And, I will do a separate post once a week about what’s going on with the cats in my neighborhood.  As always, please feel free to comment!

Ecstatically,

Grace