Bye-bye Clawzilla!

Cats, I have good news.  Clawzilla is gone!  And, I don’t think she’ll be back.  Here is what happened:

While I was looking out of the window this morning, I heard Clawzilla growl at Fraidycat (Fraidy), “Gimme some more food—now!”

To my surprise, Fraidy said, “No.  I won’t do it.  I am sick of you pushing me around!” Then, she clawed Clawzilla in the face.

After she did that, it got very quiet in the alley.  Then Clawzilla growled, “You will be very sorry that you messed with me, Fraidy!”  Then, she extended her claws and got ready to beat up Fraidy.  All of us were terrified because Clawzilla looked as if she would kill her.

God, please help us, I prayed.

Just as she was about to pounce, a deep voice said, “That’s. Enough. Clawzilla.”  It was Bruno!  Then he hissed, “Leave her alone or you will have to deal with me, Clawzilla.  And you don’t want that.”

“Yeah, right!  You are an old, scrawny cat.  I’ll get you after I get Fraidy!” Clawzilla replied.

Then, she pounced at Fraidy.  But before she could get to her, I heard the strangest sound that I’ve ever heard a cat make come from Bruno’s mouth, “Keeyoooooowwww!”

Then, he made moves that I didn’t know a cat could make.   He caught Clawzilla in mid-pounce and flipped her into the dumpster.  And, he got her good with his claws.  Clawzilla fought hard, but Bruno both defended himself and kept flipping her into the dumpster.  Finally, after she’d been almost been knocked unconscious, Clawzilla gave up.

“This is the end of your reign of terror around here, Clawzilla.  Either behave, or get out of our neighborhood,” Bruno stated.

“I don’t have to behave.  I am Clawzilla.  I can do whatever I want,” Clawzilla hissed.  No one was scared of her though.  In fact, we were laughing at her because, well—how can I put this delicately—OK, because she was covered with poop!   That happened because during one of her many landings into the dumpster, she fell into the bag full of my dirty litter that my Mom had just thrown out.

“Not in our neighborhood you can’t,” we yowled as one.

After that, Clawzilla said, “Fine!  I’m leaving.  But, I’ll be back and you’ll be sorry—especially you, Bruno.”

Then she slowly stalked off to terrorize another neighborhood.  I don’t think that will work for her, though.  We’ve put out an All Cats Bulletin on her, so all of the cats in the area will know who they’ll be dealing with.  And, Bruno said he will be happy to travel anywhere to stop her from harming another kitten.

So, she is gone and we are happy. I did ask Bruno where he learned the moves he made.  He just smiled mysteriously and said, “My Mom loved to watch karate movies, and I paid a lot of attention to them.”

I hope that he’ll teach me how to do those moves of his someday.  In the meantime, though, I am just happy that she’s gone.  Oh, and as for that Mom of mine?  I’m happy to report that she’s paying more attention to me.  I’ll tell you more about that later.  Right now, I’ve got to go.  All of this drama has exhausted me!

Computer and Clawzilla Update

Hi cats. I just wanted to update you on what is going on with my Mom and I, and what is going on in my neighborhood.

Mom is going through C.W. (Computer Withdrawal). She is typing in her sleep. She is looking at the spot where our computer was and letting out a deep sigh of disappointment when she sees that it’s not there. The only good thing about this is that she has more time to play with me. I like that. However, I can’t play with her 24/7. So, I am praying that our computer will be fixed soon so that Mom will be back to normal. Then, I’ll get some much-needed rest!

As for my neighborhood—well, that Clawzilla (Zilla) is still terrorizing it.  Angelina led a Council of Cats which met for the purpose of deciding what to do about her. Well, guess who walked into it?  Clawzilla! She interrupted the Council and growled, “Don’t even think about trying to stop me or I will hurt you.” Then, she stalked away.

That scared everyone, but the Council continued. The cats there decided to stick together and protect the kittens from her. This is not going well. After the Council ended, Herb saw her being mean to a kitten. So, he tried to defend it. Well, the next thing we saw was Herb being flipped over the dumpster! Even worse, he had a long scratch mark on his face. All of us comforted him, and I smuggled him some Neosporin so that his cut would be OK, and so that I’d have an excuse to be close to him.

After that, two cats that I really don’t know that well decided to put that Zilla in her place. They were tough, strong cats so we figured they could take care of business with her. We were wrong. She beat both of them up and growled, “I told you you’d get hurt!”  Then, she let out the scariest laugh that I’ve ever heard.

So, we don’t know what we are going to do about her. I need your help, cats. Have you ever had a mean cat like her in your neighborhood? If so, how did you kill do about it? Please post soon. You may be saving a kitten’s life!