What’s Really Going in this House on Thanksgiving!

Hello cats.  My Mom may have sounded nice in that Thanksgiving greeting that she just posted, but don’t let her fool you.  She’s mean!  Would you believe that she ignored me all day?  First, she got up at 6:00 A.M. and ran out of the house to meet some friends after giving me a scant ten minutes of play time.  Then, when she returned home, she was so busy doing laundry, dishes and taking out the garbage that she completely ignored me.  And now, she’s about to head out of the door again to go to something called a “Thanksgiving Dinner”.  I am not happy about this, cats!

So, she may find an unpleasant surprise or two when she comes home.  I can kick poop out of my litter box as well as any other cat. Then, I think I’ll shred those sweaters that she laid out to dry on the couch.  And then—

Oh no.  She’s heading toward the computer!  I’ve got to go so that she doesn’t know what I’m up to.  Bye for now, cats!

Later . . .

Well cats, I never got a chance to wreak havoc on this house because I fell asleep. I woke up when my Mom came home and said, “Gray-cie.  I have a surprise for you!”  I was excited about that.  I figured maybe she’d bought me a new cat cube, or brought home some salmon.  I was wrong.  This is what she gave me:

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, I was not thrilled with her surprise. However, I’ve decided to postpone my revenge because at least she tried to do something nice for me.  So I will sign off for now, cats.  I hope that all of you had a great Thanksgiving and got everything you wanted today.  Type to you soon.

Mom Had Her Hair Killed!

Hi cats.  I was going to post about our Council of Cats, but we haven’t had it yet.  However, I have to show you this.  Mom paid to have her hair killed today.  She calls it “getting her hair cut”.  I call it “getting her hair killed”.  Here is how her hair looked before she had it killed cut:

Now, here is how her hair looks after she got what she calls a “haircut”:

As you can see, there is hardly any of her hair left for me to snuggle into.  So, I don’t care if she thinks she got her hair cut.  I know that she got her hair killed!

Now, it’s your turn cats.  Do you think my Mom had her hair cut or killed?  Please post.  I can hardly wait to see what you think of what she calls her “new look”.

Thanks!

Grace

Help! My Mom’s Job Search Is Driving Her Crazy!

Hi cats. I am going to have to make this a quick post because my Mom has been hogging the computer.  She is searching for a new job, and this process is driving her crazy!  I am really worried about her.  Here a just a few of the things that she’s done so far:

  • Screaming things like, “What is wrong with this idiotic software?  I can’t even upload my resume!” and, “How could anyone live on this salary?!”
  • Almost killing our computer by accidentally pulling its plug out while trying to find the thingy that tells her whether or not she’s typing in caps.
  • Growling at the computer as she takes what she calls “Psych Tests”.

Well, you get the idea.  She is not in good shape.  So, if you wish, please pray for her cats.  She needs it!  I have to go, though.  We are going to have a Council of Cats about how to help Mimi and her kittens.  I’ll tell you more about that in my next post.

She Got Me Again!

Hello cats.  Guess who took me to the torturer veterinarian again? My Mom.  Would you believe she grabbed me while I was sleeping, wrapped me into a towel, and shoved me into that horrible thing known as a cat carrier?  Here is a picture of me in that torture chamber:

After a horrible car ride, during which I yowled as loudly as I could so that woman would turn around, I arrived at the veterinarian’s office.  As you can see, I was ready to claw his face off:

 

Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to do that.  Before I could lift a claw to him, he managed to give me two shots. Once he did that, I ran back into the carrier to get into a better defensive position.  Sadly, he walked away, so I never got to claw him. So, after another scary car ride, I got home.  Then, that woman finally gave me some salmon, which I enjoyed:

However, I do plan on punishing my Mom for what she did to me.  Right now, though, I am hiding under the bed so that she can’t get me again.  Type to you later, cats! Oh, and thank you to the nice programmers at superlame.com for helping me to express my thoughts!

Blinds Are Made for Breaking!

Hello, everyone.  I just want to show you a recent altercation between me and my Mom in three pictures.  First here is a picture of our kitchen blinds after I’d spent weeks making them the way I like them:

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, they were perfect.  However, Mom has this crazy idea called “privacy”, so she was not happy about what I did to the blinds.  Thankfully, she thinks she broke them like this second picture shows before she could blame me for the shape that the blinds were in:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, at least she thinks she broke them, and I am not about to tell her any differently.  So, she paid our landlord to install a new pair of blinds.  This third picture shows how she likes the blinds:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know, this is boring.  I mean, how does she expect me to protect our home when I can’t see outside?  And, doesn’t she care that I can’t see what my friends are doing?  This is unfair.  So, I will re-adjust these blinds soon.  I’ve got to go, though.  She is walking toward the computer, and I don’t want her to know what I’ve been up to.  Type to you later, cats!

Mom’s on the Mend

Hi cats.  I’m happy to report that Mom’s on the mend.  I am glad, because when she is out visiting with her friends, I can have my friends over!  And, in spite of my last post, I was worried about her.  I mean, she was just lying around the house doing nothing, and that’s not like her.   I helped her by giving her lots of love and attention.  I even slept on the pillow with her like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think that’s what made her feel better.

So, now that I’ve cured my Mom—

Excuse Me?

OOPS, now that God is curing my Mom, I can tell you about all of the stuff that happened before she had her surgery done.  The first thing that I’m going to post about is how she almost rescued a kitten that I’ll call The Stray. In the meantime, if you wish, please pray that He continues to heal her.  I need my privacy!

Mom Just Had Surgery and She’s Driving Me Crazy!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope that all is well with you.

I wanted to let you know that Mom just had surgery.  Well, OK, not surgery but they had to knock her out to test her for something.  So, I am stuck with her for twenty four hours because she can’t drive since they gave her something called “anesthesia”.  Cats, she is driving me crazy!  Here are just a few of the things that she has said to me and what I thought as she said them:

“Gray-cie.  Come here.  I need a snuggie!”

I don’t think so.  You are in an altered state of consciousness so you may “snuggie” me to death.

“I don’t care what that stupid hospital said.  I need to get out of this house or I will go crazy!”

Mom, you’re already there.

“THEY WANT FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS FOR THAT MEDICATION?  HAVE THEY LOST THEIR MINDS?”

No, but you have!

“Gracie, don’t worry.  If something happens to me, I have at least two friends who will take care of you.”

Oh no. No!  I am not going to live with strangers.  If something happens to you, I will continue to live in this apartment where it’s safe. And, if any of your friends try “rescuing” me, they will get a face full of claws.

Well, you get the idea cats.  My Mom is not very pleasant to be around right now.  So, I am going to hide in the closet until she’s back to normal.  Type to you later cats!

It’s Day Four without Catnip and I Am Not Happy!

Hello cats.  Today is Day Four without catnip, and I am not happy about that!  I would like to call the ASPCA, but I don’t have the energy to do that.  That’s because I have spent all of my waking hours looking for that toy with the catnip in it.  I haven’t found it, though.

And, my friends in the neighborhood are not helping me one bit!  Yesterday, I yowled out of the window, “Hey!  Do any of you have any catnip?  I’ll trade you my bird toy for it.”  All of them looked at me and shook their heads.  Then, Angelina had the nerve to say, “Grace, none of us are going to give you catnip.  We think you have a problem.”  When she said that, I flew at the window and tried to jump her.  Sadly, I couldn’t go through the glass, so I never got her. In fact, I almost knocked myself out.  However, I did manage to stalk away after I told her and all of those miserable cats that I will never speak to them again!

Right now, I am exhausted, so I am going to try to get some sleep.  I’m hoping that after I wake up, I’ll be able to track down that toy.  I’ll let you know what happens in my next post.  If you wish, please pray that I find it.  Thanks!

Mom Threw Out My Catnip!

Hi cats.  As you can see, I am back.  We got our computer back on Thursday, but I have been too upset to post.  That’s because Mom threw out my catnip!   This whole thing started when Mom wondered why I was enjoying one of my toys so much.  She took a look at it and discovered this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

When that woman saw this, she said, “Grace, it breaks my heart to take something away from you that you love.  I have to, though.  I don’t care what the Internet says.  I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to ingest a mind and mood altering drug.  You could get addicted to that catnip!”

No, I can’t.  Now give me that toy back—now!” I screamed at her.

Sadly, all she heard was, “Meow.”  So, she hid the toy from me.  However, I had another toy that she didn’t know about.  It was a little white mouse that was full of catnip.  I’d torn it open, but she didn’t know that I had done that.  So, I still had catnip.  And, I made sure I hid it from her.  However, one day, after I’d well . . . enjoyed the catnip . . . I made the mistake of leaving it in my food dish.  Mom said, “Oh, that’s so cute.  I guess you love that mouse, don’t you?”

I thought, Yes, I do.  Now leave it alone!

Sadly, she didn’t do that.  Instead, she took it out of my food dish and saw that I’d torn it open to get at the catnip inside.  I think you cats can guess what happened next.  She threw it out!

Cats, I cannot believe she did this.  I am ready to call the ASPCA and report her for throwing away toys that it took me weeks to claw open.  This is cruelty to animals!   Before I do that, though, I am going to go under the bed and get the toy that she forgot about that is full of catnip.  It may be hard, but I will find a way to get it open.  Then, I’ll have catnip again.  Now, I’m not doing this because I’m a catnip addict.  I’m going for that toy because . . . well because I really want to play with it.  And, I know that I’ll love the catnip really have fun with it.  But that doesn’t make me a catnip addict—does it?

Yowwl! We Are Having Computer Problems—Again!

Hello cats.  I can only type for a few minutes because I am using a connection that Mom’s neighbor was nice enough to supply.  I wanted to let you know that our computer is back in the shop.  Mom is not happy about this, and neither am I.  I am now stuck with a Mom who, again, is going through C.W.S (Computer Withdrawal Syndrome).

All I can say is pray for me cats!  I am trying to help my Mom get through this.  However, she is driving me crazy!  She needs all kinds of attention, and constantly wants to play with me, and—

“Gray-cee!  Come here and let’s play with the bird-ee.  Isn’t it great that we have all of this time to bond now that I don’t have the computer?

Oh no!  The nightmare begins . . .

Gotta go cats!  I will type to you soon—I hope!