Herb Has Been Found

Hello cats.  I’m sorry I didn’t post sooner about Trixie’s juicy gossip, but horrible events, including a vet visit made me too upset to write. I am feeling better now, and although I am plotting to get even with my Mom and the vet too, I can type.  Cats, you are not going to believe this but—we found Herb!

And, this gets better, cats.  Not only did we find Herb, but we saw him flirting with a cute female cat who lives a block away from us.  Now, in case you are new to my blog, Herb is the father of Mimi’s kittens.  He is also is the best-looking male cat in our neighborhood, and he knows it.  So, it did not surprise me that he was flirting with yet another girl-cat.  However, he’d better pray that Mimi doesn’t find out about this.  If she does, she will kill him!

When Herb knew he’d been spotted, he hid.  However, he knows that we know where he lives now.  So, it’s just a matter of time until one of us gets our claws on him.  Or, maybe we’ll just let Mimi do whatever she wants to him.   I can hardly wait to see what happens!

I’ve got to go for now, though.  I think Mom is getting out that horrible thing called “cat medicine,” so I have to take evasive action.  I will tell you all about the vet visit in my next post.  Type to you soon, cats!

Update on Mimi and Her Kittens

Hi cats.  I can’t believe that it’s been over a month since I talked about my secret friends.  I guess I got lazy or something.  And, watching out for Mimi and her kittens is a full-time job!  Here are a few of the things that I’m doing:

  • Dealing with that Mimi who drives me crazy 24/7
  • Preventing our neighbors from finding Mimi and her kittens by yowling, growling and acting crazy so they don’t hear the kittens mewing
  • Helping Mimi train her kittens to be safe around the sometimes crazy humans who live in our building
  • Teaching the kittens which humans are OK, and which are not and above all—
  • Trying to keep my Mom from figuring out that there are five cats living in a storage space that is one wall away from our apartment

These things are not easy to do.  I like protecting the kittens, though, so I’m happy to do them—for now.   Also, all of my secret friends are helping me, so I still get to sleep. And—

Oh!  Trixie is at the window.  She is my best friend and I can tell by the look on her face that she has some very juicy gossip to pass on.  I can hardly wait to hear it, so I’ve got to go.  I will tell all of you everything that she tells me in my next post.  Bye for now!

All Is Well With Mimi and Her Kittens :-)

Hi cats.  I am happy to tell you that all is well with Mimi and her kittens.  It took about five hours for her four kittens to be born.  Mimi was scared at first, but then, just like I told her, her instincts took over.  So, she was able to give birth to her kittens, chew open the sacs that all new kittens are born in, and lick her new babies until they were clean.  She even had the nerve to tell me to go away after her first kitten was born because, in her words, “I know what I’m doing and I don’t need your help, Grace!”

I stuck around anyway to make sure that things would be OK.  And, they are.  As I write this, Mimi and her kittens are safe and sound in their hiding place which is pictured here:

And, I am happy that I got to be a part of new kittens being born into this world.  I’ve got to go, though.  All of this birthing babies stuff has made me tired.  So, I am going to sleep before those brats kittens start mewing for milk again.  I’ll tell you about what’s been going on with me and that Mom of mine in my next post.  Until then, good night and may God Bless all of you.

Grace the Unappreciated Birth Coach

<A few seconds later . . .>

Guess Who’s Helping Mimi to Have Her Kittens?

Hi cats.  Guess who got stuck helping Mimi have her kittens?  Me, that’s who.  So, I haven’t been able to post because I’ve been busy getting Mimi ready for the Big Day when she will become a mother.  I’m even letting her use the storage space by my apartment as the place where she will have them.

I know—I said that there was no way that I was going to do that in my last post.  After I posted, though, Mimi came to my window and said, “Grace, if you don’t help me, no one will.  And, I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong and hurt my kittens!”

I sighed.  Then I told her, “Mimi, God made you so that you know how to have kittens.  So, there is no way that you can ‘do something wrong and hurt your kittens’!”

“Oh yes I can,” she yowled back.

I knew that she was wrong, but I saw that she was scared and wouldn’t listen to me.  So, after letting out a deep yowl, I said, “Oh, all right.  I’ll help you.  I’ll even be your birth coach!”

Mimi was so happy when I said that that she jumped up on my window and tried to kiss me.  I dodged her, and hissed, “Mimi, you don’t have to kiss me.  And, I am telling you that I may have to help you a little, but when the time comes, you will know what to do.”

So, my time has been filled with baby-sitting Mimi, and talking to my friends in the neighborhood.  Also, as always, I’m keeping that Mom of mine in line.  I’ll talk to you more about that in my next—”

“GRACE!  HELP!  IT’S TIME FOR ME TO HAVE MY BABIES!”

Oh no, not again.  Let me go check on her . . .

<A little bit later . . .>

Errr—I have to go cats.  It really is time to for Mimi to have her kittens!  Pray for me, cats.  It’s going to be a long day—”

“GRACE! Quit typing on that blog of yours and come help me to have my kittens!”

Great! I’ve got a drama cat that’s giving birth on my claws.  Cats, please pray that I don’t kill her until after her kittens are born.  Thanks!

I Am Mad at the Cats in my Neighborhood!

Hi cats.  I am so mad that I could scream!  And, no, I’m not mad because that Mimi is driving me crazy.  I’m mad because all of the cats in the neighborhood held a Council of Cats without me.  That’s why Angelina and Simone were at my window—to tell me what the Council had decided to do about where Mimi will have her kittens, and who is going to help her.  Cats, would you believe that they decided that Mimi is going to have her babies in the storage space by my apartment? And, they decided that I am going to be Mimi’s birth coach since none of the cats at the Council has given birth.

Well, I’m here to tell you that this is not going to happen!  I am a cat, not a birth coach.  So, even though Angelina and Simone are taking turns standing by my window and glaring at me, I am not giving in. And, that is my final answer.  I have to go, though.  Just thinking about this is making me so angry that I need to claw up my carpet cube.  Bye for now, cats!

Help! Mimi Is Driving Me Crazy!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope that all is well with you, and that you have your human/s under control.

This post is to update you on everything that is going on in my neighborhood.   First, Herb is missing! We haven’t seen him since he got into a big fight with Mimi about two weeks ago.  I didn’t hear the whole fight, but I did see him run away from Mimi after she screamed, “Herb, I don’t care if male cats don’t help with the kittens. You are helping me to raise these babies!”  I think that he’s hiding from her, but I’m worried that something bad may have happened to him.  Simone the Stealth Cat and some of her mysterious friends have been looking for him, but so far they haven’t found him.

Second, Mimi is driving me crazy!  Now in case you haven’t been reading my latest posts, Mimi is the cat I used to call, “That Hussy”.  I was very angry when I found out that she was having Herb’s kittens since I thought that Herb had fallen in love with me. I ended up feeling sorry for her after I remembered what it was like when I was pregnant and alone.  So, I am trying to help her.

This is not an easy thing to do, though.  That cat is constantly asking me questions about what will happen when she has her kittens.  I’ve already told her everything that she needs to know, but it’s like she forgets what I said and asks me the same questions over and over again.  And, Mimi is eating everything in sight!  Now, I know that’s normal since she’s eating for both herself and her kittens.  However, I wonder if there will be a bird or squirrel left alive in our neighborhood by the time her pregnancy ends in about ten days!

Worst of all, I have to put up with her mood swings.  That cat goes from thanking me for all I’m doing for her to screaming at me for not answering her pregnancy questions fast enough.  I’ll be so glad when this is over—

Oh!  Angelina and Simone are at the window.  I’m glad that they are here.  Maybe they can help me deal with this crazy cat.  Before I go, though, I’d like to ask all of you to pray for my Mom’s friend’s cat, Timmy.  He is in the hospital.  I know that I’ll pray for him because he’s a good looking boy-cat.  And, if you wish, please pray that I don’t kill that Mimi.  Thanks!

Now I’m On That Hussy’s—OOPS Mimi’s Side Too

Hi cats.  I am sorry that I didn’t post sooner.  I was so furious with That Hussy and Herb that I spent all of my time glaring at them out of the window like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

At first, that felt good.  However, I got lonely because no one was talking to me.  My friends even hissed,“Meanie!” at me.  I didn’t like that.  So, I prayed, God, this isn’t fair.  That Hussy has everyone feeling sorry for her when she stole my boyfriend.  Could you please help me get revenge on her, and that Herb too?

All I heard was silence.  So, I added, Oh, all right, God.  I won’t do anything real bad to her because I don’t want to hurt her kittens Just let me give her one good claw in the face!

Again, there was silence.  Then, a still small Voice said; Remember what it was like when you were pregnant and living outside, Grace?

After He said that, I had no choice but to remember a part of my life that I’d hoped to forget forever. So, I remembered what it was like when I was expecting kittens and living on the street.  I remember trying to eat as much as possible so that my kittens would be born healthy.  That was hard, though, since there wasn’t much food available outside.  I begged God to help me back then—and he did, because I managed to keep myself and my unborn kittens alive.

Worst of all, I remembered how mean all of the cats in my old neighborhood were to me.  They called me bad names and hissed at me.  And, the girl-cat whose boyfriend I stole threatened to kill me.  I was terrified when she said that. Thankfully, her friends talked her out of doing that.  None of them ever helped me, though.  I ended up having my kittens alone by a dumpster.  That was the worst day of my life.

Suddenly, a cat’s cry interrupted my memories.  It was That Hussy Mimi. She was crying bitterly.  As she cried, she sobbed, “How will I ever get enough food so that my kittens are born healthy?  And, where is that Herb?  He said he loved me, but now he’s gone.  Now what will I do?”

After what I remembered, I knew what I had to do.  So, I went to my window and gave Mimi a crash course on how to survive being outside and pregnant.  Here is a picture of me doing that.  You can’t see Mimi because she’s by the dumpster:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m glad I did this because all of my friends are talking to me again.  Angelina even said that she is proud of me.  And, I thought I heard a Voice say Good girl.  That made me purr.  I have to go, though.  This has been a long post, and my paws are tired.  Type to you later, cats!