The Latest Information on the Cats in My Neighborhood

Hello cats. Here is what’s been going on with my secret friends. If you are new to my blog, here are two links to previous posts that will give you some background on the cats that I’m typing about:

Mimi and her Kittens: That miserable Mimi is still living in the storage space next to my apartment. I thought she and the kittens would move now that they can survive on their own. Sadly, that’s not the case. They are all still here except for her son, Herb Jr., who ran away from home to join a feral cat colony down the street. I hope that Mimi decides to move soon, because I may kill her if she stays here for much longer!

Simone: Simone is as mysterious as ever. I still don’t know exactly where she lives, or if she has a home at all. Simone is helping the cats in our neighborhood find warm places to stay when it’s cold or snowing outside. Unfortunately, a lot of those cats end up staying in the storage spaces of my apartment complex.

Angelina: Angelina is also helping cats to find warm places to stay. And, she is helping Mimi. When she’s not doing that, she is busy making me participate in all of her efforts to help everyone. I am sick of doing that and hope that it warms up soon so that all of those cats will go away!

Bruno and Hazel: Bruno and Hazel have fallen in love! They are the closest thing to a human married couple that I’ve ever seen. They have made a home in a nice big box that one of our neighbors left outside. And, they have decided they’d rather live outside than live without each other. That’s romantic, but I hope they don’t freeze out there!

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Herb Has Been Found

Hello cats.  I’m sorry I didn’t post sooner about Trixie’s juicy gossip, but horrible events, including a vet visit made me too upset to write. I am feeling better now, and although I am plotting to get even with my Mom and the vet too, I can type.  Cats, you are not going to believe this but—we found Herb!

And, this gets better, cats.  Not only did we find Herb, but we saw him flirting with a cute female cat who lives a block away from us.  Now, in case you are new to my blog, Herb is the father of Mimi’s kittens.  He is also is the best-looking male cat in our neighborhood, and he knows it.  So, it did not surprise me that he was flirting with yet another girl-cat.  However, he’d better pray that Mimi doesn’t find out about this.  If she does, she will kill him!

When Herb knew he’d been spotted, he hid.  However, he knows that we know where he lives now.  So, it’s just a matter of time until one of us gets our claws on him.  Or, maybe we’ll just let Mimi do whatever she wants to him.   I can hardly wait to see what happens!

I’ve got to go for now, though.  I think Mom is getting out that horrible thing called “cat medicine,” so I have to take evasive action.  I will tell you all about the vet visit in my next post.  Type to you soon, cats!

Guess Who’s Helping Mimi to Have Her Kittens?

Hi cats.  Guess who got stuck helping Mimi have her kittens?  Me, that’s who.  So, I haven’t been able to post because I’ve been busy getting Mimi ready for the Big Day when she will become a mother.  I’m even letting her use the storage space by my apartment as the place where she will have them.

I know—I said that there was no way that I was going to do that in my last post.  After I posted, though, Mimi came to my window and said, “Grace, if you don’t help me, no one will.  And, I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong and hurt my kittens!”

I sighed.  Then I told her, “Mimi, God made you so that you know how to have kittens.  So, there is no way that you can ‘do something wrong and hurt your kittens’!”

“Oh yes I can,” she yowled back.

I knew that she was wrong, but I saw that she was scared and wouldn’t listen to me.  So, after letting out a deep yowl, I said, “Oh, all right.  I’ll help you.  I’ll even be your birth coach!”

Mimi was so happy when I said that that she jumped up on my window and tried to kiss me.  I dodged her, and hissed, “Mimi, you don’t have to kiss me.  And, I am telling you that I may have to help you a little, but when the time comes, you will know what to do.”

So, my time has been filled with baby-sitting Mimi, and talking to my friends in the neighborhood.  Also, as always, I’m keeping that Mom of mine in line.  I’ll talk to you more about that in my next—”


Oh no, not again.  Let me go check on her . . .

<A little bit later . . .>

Errr—I have to go cats.  It really is time to for Mimi to have her kittens!  Pray for me, cats.  It’s going to be a long day—”

“GRACE! Quit typing on that blog of yours and come help me to have my kittens!”

Great! I’ve got a drama cat that’s giving birth on my claws.  Cats, please pray that I don’t kill her until after her kittens are born.  Thanks!

I Am Mad at the Cats in my Neighborhood!

Hi cats.  I am so mad that I could scream!  And, no, I’m not mad because that Mimi is driving me crazy.  I’m mad because all of the cats in the neighborhood held a Council of Cats without me.  That’s why Angelina and Simone were at my window—to tell me what the Council had decided to do about where Mimi will have her kittens, and who is going to help her.  Cats, would you believe that they decided that Mimi is going to have her babies in the storage space by my apartment? And, they decided that I am going to be Mimi’s birth coach since none of the cats at the Council has given birth.

Well, I’m here to tell you that this is not going to happen!  I am a cat, not a birth coach.  So, even though Angelina and Simone are taking turns standing by my window and glaring at me, I am not giving in. And, that is my final answer.  I have to go, though.  Just thinking about this is making me so angry that I need to claw up my carpet cube.  Bye for now, cats!

Help! Mimi Is Driving Me Crazy!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope that all is well with you, and that you have your human/s under control.

This post is to update you on everything that is going on in my neighborhood.   First, Herb is missing! We haven’t seen him since he got into a big fight with Mimi about two weeks ago.  I didn’t hear the whole fight, but I did see him run away from Mimi after she screamed, “Herb, I don’t care if male cats don’t help with the kittens. You are helping me to raise these babies!”  I think that he’s hiding from her, but I’m worried that something bad may have happened to him.  Simone the Stealth Cat and some of her mysterious friends have been looking for him, but so far they haven’t found him.

Second, Mimi is driving me crazy!  Now in case you haven’t been reading my latest posts, Mimi is the cat I used to call, “That Hussy”.  I was very angry when I found out that she was having Herb’s kittens since I thought that Herb had fallen in love with me. I ended up feeling sorry for her after I remembered what it was like when I was pregnant and alone.  So, I am trying to help her.

This is not an easy thing to do, though.  That cat is constantly asking me questions about what will happen when she has her kittens.  I’ve already told her everything that she needs to know, but it’s like she forgets what I said and asks me the same questions over and over again.  And, Mimi is eating everything in sight!  Now, I know that’s normal since she’s eating for both herself and her kittens.  However, I wonder if there will be a bird or squirrel left alive in our neighborhood by the time her pregnancy ends in about ten days!

Worst of all, I have to put up with her mood swings.  That cat goes from thanking me for all I’m doing for her to screaming at me for not answering her pregnancy questions fast enough.  I’ll be so glad when this is over—

Oh!  Angelina and Simone are at the window.  I’m glad that they are here.  Maybe they can help me deal with this crazy cat.  Before I go, though, I’d like to ask all of you to pray for my Mom’s friend’s cat, Timmy.  He is in the hospital.  I know that I’ll pray for him because he’s a good looking boy-cat.  And, if you wish, please pray that I don’t kill that Mimi.  Thanks!

Now I’m On That Hussy’s—OOPS Mimi’s Side Too

Hi cats.  I am sorry that I didn’t post sooner.  I was so furious with That Hussy and Herb that I spent all of my time glaring at them out of the window like this:







At first, that felt good.  However, I got lonely because no one was talking to me.  My friends even hissed,“Meanie!” at me.  I didn’t like that.  So, I prayed, God, this isn’t fair.  That Hussy has everyone feeling sorry for her when she stole my boyfriend.  Could you please help me get revenge on her, and that Herb too?

All I heard was silence.  So, I added, Oh, all right, God.  I won’t do anything real bad to her because I don’t want to hurt her kittens Just let me give her one good claw in the face!

Again, there was silence.  Then, a still small Voice said; Remember what it was like when you were pregnant and living outside, Grace?

After He said that, I had no choice but to remember a part of my life that I’d hoped to forget forever. So, I remembered what it was like when I was expecting kittens and living on the street.  I remember trying to eat as much as possible so that my kittens would be born healthy.  That was hard, though, since there wasn’t much food available outside.  I begged God to help me back then—and he did, because I managed to keep myself and my unborn kittens alive.

Worst of all, I remembered how mean all of the cats in my old neighborhood were to me.  They called me bad names and hissed at me.  And, the girl-cat whose boyfriend I stole threatened to kill me.  I was terrified when she said that. Thankfully, her friends talked her out of doing that.  None of them ever helped me, though.  I ended up having my kittens alone by a dumpster.  That was the worst day of my life.

Suddenly, a cat’s cry interrupted my memories.  It was That Hussy Mimi. She was crying bitterly.  As she cried, she sobbed, “How will I ever get enough food so that my kittens are born healthy?  And, where is that Herb?  He said he loved me, but now he’s gone.  Now what will I do?”

After what I remembered, I knew what I had to do.  So, I went to my window and gave Mimi a crash course on how to survive being outside and pregnant.  Here is a picture of me doing that.  You can’t see Mimi because she’s by the dumpster:







I’m glad I did this because all of my friends are talking to me again.  Angelina even said that she is proud of me.  And, I thought I heard a Voice say Good girl.  That made me purr.  I have to go, though.  This has been a long post, and my paws are tired.  Type to you later, cats!

Everyone’s On Herb and That Hussy’s Side!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope that your lives are going better than mine.

After I typed my last post, I went to the window to see what Angelina wanted.  Once I got there, I saw that Simone the Stealth Cat was with her.  I was happy to see both of them—especially Simone.  She is great at sneaking around.  So, I figured Angelina brought her over so that she could help me to sneak out of the house.  So, I said, “Hi Angelina and Simone.  I’m so glad that both of you are here.  Now, will you tell me how you two will get me out of this house so that I can give Herb and That Hussy the clawing they deserve?”

There was a long silence.  Then, Angelina looked at me and said, “That’s not why we are here.  We came to talk to you about how mean you have been to Mimi—her name is Mimi, not ‘That Hussy’—and Herb.”

“I wasn’t mean,” I replied.  “Both of you saw how Herb made me think he was in love with me, while knowing That Hussy was going to have his kittens.  That’s wrong.  Now, I want you to sneak me out of this house—now!”

“That’s not going to happen,” Simone stated. “I don’t use my stealth skills to help cats get revenge on each other.  And, I know that Herb never told you that he loved you.  I think that you came up with that idea yourself—“

“He acted like he was in love with me!  He was at my house every day.  So, he led me on,” I interrupted.

Simone let out a deep sigh.  Then she said, “Maybe Herb did lead you on a little bit.  But, what about Mimi?  She is homeless and is expecting kittens.  Have you forgotten what that feels like?  I read your blog, so I know that happened to you.  Can you turn your back on her when you know exactly what she’s going through?”

“That was different,” I screamed.  “I was only five months old when I got pregnant.  Herb and Mimi are a lot older, so they should know better!”

Both of them looked at me and shook their heads.  Then Angelina said, “Yeah, like you knew better, Grace?  I remember when you told me about how all of the female cats in your old neighborhood treated you like dirt when you got pregnant.  And, you even bragged about how you stole another cat’s boyfriend while you were in heat.  So, who are you to judge?”

After Angelina said that, I lost it, cats.  I screamed, “I don’t want to hear another thing that either of you have to say!  If you’re on her side, you’re not my friends anymore.  Now get out of here!”  Then, I jumped at the window to get them. Sadly, all I did was knock myself in the head again.  They did leave, though, after they’d hissed at me and told me that they hoped I’d enjoy being alone.

Well, so far, I am enjoying being alone.  The only thing that I’m upset about is that I can’t find a way to sneak out of this house and get Miss Mimi and Herb.  So, I need your help, cats.  If any of you have gotten out of the house successfully, please tell me how you did that.  Then, I can get my revenge.  Thanks!

Herb Has Fallen in Love with Me!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope all is well with you and that your humans are under your control.

I haven’t posted because, well . . . how can I say this?  OK, I’ll just meow it out:  I think that Herb has fallen in love with me!

Now, in case you are new to this blog, Herb is the best-looking male cat in our neighborhood.  He has beautiful ebony fur like mine, golden eyes, and a great personality.  In earlier posts, I said that I laughed when Herb flirted with me, and I did. That’s because he flirted with every girl-cat in our neighborhood.  However, he has changed, and it seems like he only has eyes for me.

I first noticed that Herb was acting differently when I noticed that he was being very friendly with me.  Before I knew it, he was constantly at my window, and was talking to me a lot. Even better, he kept telling me how pretty I looked. There were nights that we talked until the sun came up.  And, I noticed wasn’t flirting with any of the girl-cats in our neighborhood any more.

However, after Herb tried to kiss me through the window last night, I knew that things had changed.  So, I’m pretty sure that he’s fallen in love with me.  I’m glad that he finally sees that I am the prettiest girl-cat around. Here is a picture of me in my beautiful new collar to show you how pretty I am:

As you can see, I am looking good.  That’s why I have Herb’s undivided attention.  And, after all that’s happened, I think that he may even want to marry me or something.  We cats usually don’t do that, but there’s always a first time for everything.  I haven’t seen Herb for the last couple of days, though.  I wonder if he’s trying to get the courage to pop the question. Oh!  Herb is at my window again. And, he just said, “Uh, Grace . . . I need to talk to you.” I’ve never seen him this shy. I wonder if he’s going to propose to me? I’ve got to go and find out, cats.  I will tell you about everything that happens in my next post!

I Have Friends Again!

Hi cats. I know that I promised to tell you about the cat veterans, but first I wanted to let you know that I have friends again! After I typed my last post, I went to the window. I didn’t see my friends right away because all of them are hiding in shady spots because it is very hot in my neighborhood. I was pretty sure that they were in earshot though. So, I yelled, “Hey! Everybody! I am sorry that I yelled at you and said I never wanted to speak to you again. That was wrong.”

I waited for them to respond. It was a long wait. I was about to walk away from the window and give up when Angelina came out. To my surprise, she was crying. Then she said, “Grace, it is so good to have you back. All of us were scared that we lost you to that catnip forever!” I started crying too and replied, “Thanks to God, Ebony and her friends, I’m back. And, I don’t plan on ever using that stuff again!

After I said that, everyone came out and told me they were glad that I was back to normal. I couldn’t believe how nice they were to me after I’d been so mean to them. All of us had a nice talk, but they had to go back into the shade. When it’s 104 degrees out, cats have to keep themselves cool!

So, I jumped out of the window and went to lie down in the coolest part of our apartment. There, I thanked God that I had my friends back. And, I made a vow that with His help that I will stay away from catnip—forever. And, I really believe that I can do that, one day at time.

I have to go because I am tired. I promise that I will tell you about a few of the cat veterans that helped our country (the U.S.A.) and many other countries to be free in my next post. Until then, again, please feel free to e-mail me if you have a catnip problem. It will help me to help you.

It’s Day Four without Catnip and I Am Not Happy!

Hello cats.  Today is Day Four without catnip, and I am not happy about that!  I would like to call the ASPCA, but I don’t have the energy to do that.  That’s because I have spent all of my waking hours looking for that toy with the catnip in it.  I haven’t found it, though.

And, my friends in the neighborhood are not helping me one bit!  Yesterday, I yowled out of the window, “Hey!  Do any of you have any catnip?  I’ll trade you my bird toy for it.”  All of them looked at me and shook their heads.  Then, Angelina had the nerve to say, “Grace, none of us are going to give you catnip.  We think you have a problem.”  When she said that, I flew at the window and tried to jump her.  Sadly, I couldn’t go through the glass, so I never got her. In fact, I almost knocked myself out.  However, I did manage to stalk away after I told her and all of those miserable cats that I will never speak to them again!

Right now, I am exhausted, so I am going to try to get some sleep.  I’m hoping that after I wake up, I’ll be able to track down that toy.  I’ll let you know what happens in my next post.  If you wish, please pray that I find it.  Thanks!