The Medicine Wars—Conclusion

Hello, cats.  I am sorry that I didn’t post on Tuesday like I promised to.  I could give you all kinds of excuses, but the truth is that I’m embarrassed because I never got to claw up my Mom’s hands.

This is what happened.  After my Mom fell asleep, I was running around the apartment and pouncing on my toys to prepare for what I called “the clawing that would end this medicine torture forever.”  Suddenly, I heard a voice I hadn’t heard for a while say, “Hsssssssssssst.  Grace, what are you doing in there?”

After I ran to the window, I was happy to see that it was Bruno’s voice I heard.  Now, in case you are new to my blog, Bruno is the cat who beat up the meanest cat in the neighborhood, Clawzilla.  When he did that, we found out that Bruno knows how to do what I can only call, “Katate.”  I was so happy to see him, cats.  I figured that with his help, I could really get my Mom.  So, I told him about what I was planning to do.  Then, I asked him if he could teach me some katate moves that would make my Mom stop giving me medicine—forever.

I was shocked when Bruno gave me a dirty look.  Then he said, “Grace, you are an ungrateful brat cat.  All that your Mom is doing is treating the infection behind your ear—”

“How dare you call me a brat cat?  She is torturing me, and I’m going to defend myself!” I screamed.

Bruno glared at me in a way that made my fur stand up.  Then he growled, “Fine, Grace.  Go claw up your Mom.  Then, you’ll be back out on the streets.  I hope you like it out here!”  Then, he stalked away.

I was furious with that cat.  So, I decided to ignore him, and I ran over to the bed to pounce on my Mom’s hand.  As I was about to do that, a strong Voice said, “No

I knew that Voice.  But I wanted to do what I wanted to do.  So I pounced at my Mom’s hand, with claws extended.  Then, it was like there was an invisible wall between me and my Mom!  Every time I tried to get her, I ended up bouncing onto the floor beside our bed.  Finally, I gave up and said, “OK, God, I won’t get her tonight.  But could you please make her stop shoving that awful medicine down my throat?”

I thought I heard him say, “Wait” After that, I went to sleep.

I’m glad that I waited cats.  The next day, my Mom called the veterinarian because she felt that I’d “gone through enough torture with this medicine.”  I jumped for joy when I heard him say that if I was all better, she could stop giving it to me.  My Mom is cautious so she gave me two more doses of the horrid pink stuff.  Then she said, “Grace, there will be no more medicine.”  I was very happy to hear that.  And, she has kept her word so far.

However, she is still putting medicine on her hands.  Before I was stopped from clawing her, I managed to leave a few marks on her hands.  Here are two pictures of them:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m glad that this is over with, and I know I can’t attack her in her sleep. However, these marks show that in a battle between a human and a cat—-the cat always wins.  Type to you later!

Grace the Sneaky Clawer

The Medicine Wars 2.5—The Nightmare Continues

Hi cats.  I am typing this post while hiding under the bed from that woman.  Cats, would you believe that she is still shoving medicine down my throat?  I mean, it has been almost ten days now.  So, any “infection” I had should be killed. I’ve concluded that she is doing this to torture me.

Well cats, I am not taking this lying down.  She has to go to sleep soon.  After she does that, I plan on clawing her hands up so that she won’t ever be able to give me medicine again.  I will tell you how that goes tomorrow.  I have to go now, because I need to plan my attack. Type to you soon!

The Medicine Wars: Part Two

Hello cats. This is the post that I promised you that will tell you more about what that evil woman is doing to me.   I am about to get very graphic, so if you are a kitten who is less than six months old, please don’t read any further.  What I’m about to post will give you nightmares.

What that woman has been doing to me is taking a large medicine syringe that is bigger than my face, forcing my mouth open, and then squirting vile-tasting medicine down my throat.  She tells me this will prevent me from getting a really bad infection.  I think she’s doing this to torture me.

I have evaded her many times, but she has become as sneaky as a cat!  So, she has managed to capture me fourteen times to do this to me.  However, I am not without defenses, so here are a just three of the things that I’ve done to her in revenge for what she’d doing to me:

  1. I scratched her arm while pretending to stretch.
  2. I tied her favorite jewelry into a knot like this

 

 

 

 

 

 

3: I treated her to a half hour midnight concert of yowling, growling and howling to remind her of what I’m capable of, while giving her dirty looks like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

None of these things have stopped her though.  However, I think I have come up with the perfect strategy to make her stop giving me medicine.  As soon as she does that again, I will put my paw down my throat and make myself throw up!  Then, she’ll think the medicine made me sick, so she’ll stop giving it to me.  Oh!  I see she has the syringe in her hand.  She is about to get a nasty surprise.  I will tell you what happened in a minute . . .

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The Medicine Wars Part One

Hello, cats.  I’m here to report that my Mom has turned into a cat torturer.  Cats, she is squirting medicine down my throat.  Words cannot express how unhappy I am with what she’s doing.  Well actually they could, but this is a family blog.  All I will say is that I am doing everything I can to discourage her from her attempts to put any type of medicine in or on me. I am hiding under the bed.  I am spitting out the medicine she gives me when she’s not looking.  And, most importantly, I am plotting revenge so that she will never do this to me again!

I will post more about this topic later.  Right now, I am going to sharpen my claws so that I am ready for her next attempt to give me medicine.  Until then, if you have any ideas on how to stop her from doing this, please post.  Thanks!