I Got to Watch Mom Park Today!

I have just seen one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen—Mom’s attempt to back into a parking spot on our street.  And, she doesn’t know that I saw her 🙂

This began when I saw her car go by the window.  I was happy to see her, and figured she’d park in back.  She didn’t. Instead, she decided to try to back into a parking spot on our street. Mom usually avoids parking spots like that.  So, I was very surprised when she decided that this time she’d try to park there.

I won’t go into all of the details, but here is a summary of what happened.  First, she had to go around the block so that her car would be facing the right way.  Next, she tried to line her car up with the curb.  That took a while.  She had to get out of her car three times to see where she was before she figured out how to park it. While doing that, she almost ran over one of our neighbors because she didn’t see her trying to cross the street.   She stopped just in time, though.  I’m glad she was able to do that.   I don’t want my Mom to end up in jail!  I have a feeling that they don’t allow cats in there.

Finally, after at least four tries, she got the car parked right.  By then, I was laughing so hard that I almost fell off the window sill. I managed to calm down in just enough time to greet her as if I hadn’t seen her parking disaster.  However, just thinking about this is making me laugh.  So, I’m signing off for now. I’m laughing so hard that I can’t type anymore!

More Things that Mom and I See Differently

In my last post about my secret world, one of the things I talked about was how Mom and I see things differently.  Now, I’m going to describe more of the differences in how she and I see things. I am posting this for the cats, and especially the kittens,  who think they are crazy because they don’t see things like their human/s do.  I want to let you know that you are not crazy.  You just see things differently from your human.  That is normal, since cats and humans are two different species!

Here are some more of the things that we see differently:

She sees:  A cute little bird hopping along the ground.
I see:  Dinner.

She sees:  A sweet little bunny rabbit.
I see:  A sit-down dinner for four.

She sees: An adorable squirrel.
I see:  Again, dinner.

She sees:  A nice neighbor
I see:  A threat to our territory.  And, since I see everything that goes on around here, I know that neighbor is not as nice as Mom thinks she is!

She sees:  A poor, pathetic stray cat that she’d like to help.
I see:  That mean cat that talks trash to me.

She sees:  A scruffy, raggedy looking cat.
I see:  Herb—the heartthrob of our neighborhood.

She sees:  That nice guy who always says, “Hi,” to her.
I see:  A two-legged tomcat in heat!

Now cats, I’d like to hear from you. What do you and your human/s see differently?  I’m looking forward to your posts!

Expectantly,
Grace

Quick Update

I just wanted to let everyone know that I didn’t claw Mom.  After I typed my last post, I heard a familiar, “Pssssssssst, Grace?”  It was Angelina.  She is a very nice cat who has a home but gets to go outside.  I went to the window and talked to her.  She’s a good friend, so I told her everything that happened yesterday.  She was very sympathetic.  However, she told me that clawing Mom was a bad idea.  When I asked why, she told me that a lot of the cats I see outside lost their homes for doing that.  Then, she had to go.

I didn’t want to lose my home, so I didn’t claw Mom.  I did something even better.  I made her feel guilty!  I acted scared of her and looked at her with big sad eyes all day today.  It worked so well that she said that she was sorry that she had to take me to the vet!  I’ve got to go, though. She’s home, and I’m going to see if I can use this guilt thing to get some treats!

 

 

She Got Me—Again!

I am ashamed to type this but that Momma of mine got me—again! I thought that after the trauma I inflicted on her during our last visit to the torturer veterinarian, she’d never take me to him again. I was wrong. And, she was sneaky!

I knew something was up when she took out the cat carrier. And, when I heard her talking to one of her friends about my “needing my shots,” I took evasive action.  However, when nothing happened, I figured that she’d given up. So, I came out and was nice to her. Then, that woman did one of the sneakiest moves I’ve ever seen a human do. She took out a can of my favorite food, chicken and salmon dinner, and opened it. I should have known it was a trick. When I smelled that dinner though, my taste buds screamed, “Salmon and chicken. Yesss!” So, I ran and got the food.

Well, I think you cats can guess what happened next. As I was enjoying my treat, she grabbed me and shoved me into the cat carrier. And, off to the vet we went. I did everything that a cat can do to avoid a veterinarian encounter. I yowled. I cried. And, when we got into the examination room, I refused to leave the carrier. I clung to it so tightly that her efforts to get me out of it didn’t work. I even managed to cling to it when she held it upside-down and shook it. I thought she’d give up, but she didn’t. She and the vet managed to get me out of there. Then, it was torture time complete with shots! I was not happy.

Right now, I am biding my time. Also, I am eating the rest of that chicken and salmon dinner that she’s giving me for being such a “good girl.” I will pretend to be just that . . . for now. I know that she’ll have to go to sleep sometime! Then, she just might end up with a mysterious scratch or two on her arm. Right now, though, I’ve got to go. I hear the refrigerator opening. Type to you later, cats!

The Secret World Outside Of My Window

I am about to break every rule that cats have about not telling anyone about what is going on in their minds.  I will do that because, after all, this is a cat blog.  Also, I know that 99.9% of the humans who snoop . . .errr . . . visit here won’t think I’m real anyway. And those that do won’t admit to it because they know that their family, friends, etc., will think they’re nuts.  So,what do I have to lose? Nothing, that’s what.  It’s time to talk about the secret world outside of my window.  Mom can’t see it because she’s human, and cats and humans see things differently.  Let me show you what I mean.

Here is what Mom sees and thinks when she looks outside of the window:

There’s the same old tree.  Bo-ring.  And, it looks like all of the good parking spots are taken.  Dang!  Oh wait . . . I think I see one.  Maybe I should move the car! No, I don’t think I’ll do that.  That means I’d have to walk to where the car is now. And, I’ll have to parallel park.  No, I think I’ll keep my current spot. And that’s about it for her.

This is what I see and think when I look out of the window:

There’s the tree where all of the birds live.  I wish I could get out of this window and get at them. They’d be a great alternative to Purina!  Oh—and there are the squirrels.  Mmmmm!  I know they’d taste good.  Oh no! There’s that bad cat who’s about to talk trash to me again.  I’d like her to do that when there isn’t a pane of glass between us.  Excuse me for a minute: “YOWLHSSST!”  Oh good, I scared her away!  Oh, there’s Herb.  He’s nice cat, and good-looking too. Give me just a moment to talk to him so he doesn’t run away: “Hi Herb! Can you wait for a minute while I finish my blog entry?  Thanks!”

Well, you get the idea. We see things quite differently.  That’s good, because it allows me to have a secret life with the cats that she doesn’t know about.  I will be typing more about this in future posts. In the meantime, why don’t you tell me about the secret world outside of your window.  I’ll look forward to hearing from you.  In the meantime, I’m going to talk to that Herb!

We Almost Had a Computer Virus!

Hi cats.  I’m sorry that I haven’t posted for so long.  Both Mom and I have been busy.  However, I had to do a quick post to tell you about the latest adventure in our lives—our almost having a computer virus.

It all started when my . . . sigh . . . our computer didn’t boot up.  When that happened, I thought Mom would go into shock.  She didn’t, though.  Instead, she did what was necessary to get our computer up and running.  Once she got it going, she found out that our virus protection was not working.  I don’t know much about the technical side of computers, but I know that’s not a good thing.  Even worse, she suspected that we might have an actual computer virus!

At that point, our apartment turned into a war zone.  I actually saw my Mom use cat-like skills to put our computer to rights.  She relentlessly stalked what she called “the evil program” on our computer.  She prowled the Internet to restore our anti-virus program.  I even heard her saying things like, “I will kill this virus if it’s the last thing I do!”  Wisely, I stayed away from her.  I’d never seen her act like that!

I am happy to report that after much prayer, downloading, and drama, she got everything back to normal.  Even better, she started acting normally again.  I was glad to see that because that killer cat side of her personality scared me!

That’s it for now.  Type to you soon, cats!

 

 

 

Thank You to Our 9/11 Heroes

This post is a brief thank you to all of the heroes who gave, and are still giving, their lives to defend our freedom.  We (Grace and I) want to thank everyone—-from the heroes who gave their lives at Ground Zero to save the victims of this atrocity to the men and women all over the world who are fighting to protect our freedom for their sacrifices.  You are not, and never will be forgotten.  May God Bless and Keep all of you!  Also, thank you to all of the unseen heroes who are working hard to prevent something like this from ever happening again.  And, to the shattered ones, the ones who have seen horrors that we cannot comprehend, thank you for defending our nation.  We pray that God will heal you in body and mind from what you have seen.

We also want to extend our sympathies to the survivors of the fallen.  You are in our thoughts and prayers today.  May God comfort all of you as you go through this day.  If we could hug you, or in Grace’s case, give you a kitty kiss, we would.  We can’t, but we are praying that God will get you through your grief.   Remember that you are not alone.  There probably are millions of people praying for you today.  May God give all of you peace, and the strength to carry on.

That’s all.  May God Bless all of you—-every one.

I’m In Big Trouble with Momma!

Yes, I got into trouble—-again.  It all started when Mom was trying to “train” me to go on the couch with her.  I really don’t like doing that.  However, I went up to her on the couch and let her pet me for a minute.  Then, I walked away from her and had fun by going just out of her reach behind the lamp.  To entice me to come to her, Mom wiggled her fingers at me. I thought she wanted to play.  So, I pounced on her arm and dug my claws in!

Well, you would have thought that I committed murder.  Cries of “Bad cat!” and, “How could you do this to me!” resounded through the air.  So, I hid under the bed.  I did not appreciate it when she told me that I could stay under it—-forever.  However, after a few minutes went by, I figured that she’d calmed down.  So, I came out from under the bed and gave her my best, “What’s the big deal here,” look as I jumped up on the windowsill.  That was a bad idea.

She followed me and scruffed me, while pointing at two tiny claw marks on her arm.  Then she made it very clear to me that I was never to lift a paw to her again!  I wanted to say, “Hey lady, if I’d really wanted to claw you, you wouldn’t have an arm left!”  I knew that was a bad idea, though, so I walked away.  Then, I had to endure her glares for the rest of the day.

Things are almost back to normal now.  Mom is speaking to me again.   I’m glad she is, but I still don’t see why she got so upset! I mean we are talking about two tiny claw marks here.  If any of you cats can explain her behavior to me, I’d really appreciate it.  Thanks!

 

 

Hee-Hee, I’m Driving Mom Crazy!

I am driving Mom crazy right now, and it’s fun.  She bought me two of the bird toys that used to drive me crazy when I was a kitten.  Then, she put one up in our cabinet, and left the other one out.  To be honest, these toys bore me.  That doesn’t stop her from trying to get me interested in them, though.  Tonight, I got to watch as she tried to switch out the bird toys to “get my interest.”  Well, what was got my interest was when she tried to switch them.  They got tangled up together.  Watching her attempting to untangle those bird toys was the most fun that I’ve had in weeks!   Then, I got to watch her flying the “new” bird around while talking to me.  I pretended to be interested, and then walked away.  Finally, she threw her hands up in the air and said, “Fine, Gracie.  You can have this bird,” as she laid it on my scratching cube.  Right now, I am lying on the bed trying to hide the fact that I’m laughing at her.  Uh-oh, she’s looking at me . . . gotta go!

Humans Eat Tapeworms to Lose Weight!

Yes, cats you read that right.  Some humans deliberately eat tapeworms in order to lose weight.  They call this, “The Tapeworm Diet.”  I call it plain insanity!

I first found out about this when Mom told me about a Tyra Show that she watched in the break room at work.  There were two women on the show.  Both of them felt they weighed too much and decided to eat tapeworms so that they’d lose weight.  Tyra and the other people on the show showed them that people get these worms from cow poop (yuck!).  Then she showed how cows are force-fed the worms so that they’ll produce more.  Then, the cows are killed so that these worms can be harvested for human consumption.

Next, a doctor came out on the show and explained what will happen to the humans who eat tapeworms. He told the women that they were risking their lives if they choose to go on this “diet”  Then, he and the show’s producers, showed a gross picture of a big tapeworm to show how big it gets inside of people!  Would you believe that these tapeworms can live for twenty years, and grow (the ones that are in beef, anyway!) up to twelve feet long?!  And, the tapeworms can split up inside of their intestines and turn into little caterpillar-like things that can crawl out of their nether regions and go down their legs.  Worst of all, they can spread throughout the humans’ bodies, and can get into their lungs or liver.  They can even go into their brains and cause seizures or insanity.

I know . . . this is disgusting.   However, I wanted you cats to know the depth of some humans’ insanity.  Even my Mom said that she thought that diet was a good idea “for a minute.”  I am glad that she knows the truth now.  We’ll pray for those humans who don’t, and for the poor cows that are being slaughtered in the name of human weight loss.

Oh, and a word to the tapeworm harvesters.   I strongly suggest you don’t ever try this with me or any other cat.  If you do, we will claw your arms off!