The Stray: Part One

The story of the cat I’ll call “The Stray” began about three weeks ago.  As I was doing my routine patrols of the windows, I heard a loud, high-pitched meow.  So, I ran to the window to investigate the situation.  I saw a kitten that I’d never seen before.  As soon as it saw me, it said, “Hey!  I need a home, and yours looks pretty good to me!  So, I am going to meow until your Mom sees me.  And then, I’ll get her to feel sorry for me.  After that, I’ll move in and take over your house!”

“Oh no you won’t,” I hissed back.  Then, I jumped at the window while yowling and growling at that cat.  I wanted to make sure that it knew that there was no way that that was going to happen. I’d almost scared it away when Mom woke up and said, “Grace, be quiet!  I am trying to sleep here.”  So, after I let out a few more blood-curdling yowls, I curled up with her and went to sleep.  I figured that the Stray would run away after I’d been so scary.

Unfortunately, I was wrong.  The Stray waited until it saw my Mom get up.  Then it meowed as loudly as it could.  At first, Mom was angry at it too.  So, she told me, “Grace, that cat is driving me crazy.  I’ll yell at it!”  I wanted to cheer when she said that.  However, after she opened the window, and saw that the Stray was a little kitten, she said, “Oh, you poor thing.  You’re just a baby.  You must be starving!”  Then, that woman had the nerve to look at me and say, “Grace, I can’t believe that you are threatened by a tiny kitten. It can’t do anything to hurt you, and it is probably scared to death.  Leave the poor thing alone!”

I wanted to scream when she said that.  However, I knew that wouldn’t help.  So, I pretended to ignore the Stray while my Mom was looking.  As soon as she wasn’t though, I hissed, “Stay away from my house, or you’ll get a face full of claws!”

“Oh no I won’t,” the Stray hissed back.  “Your Mom will take me in, and you will have to love me or get into big trouble!”

At that point, I pretended to ignore the Stray, until I could figure out a plan to get rid of it.  Before I could do that, though, Mom decided to do the laundry. So, I had to watch as the Stray meowed piteously at her as she walked to the laundry room. Next, I had to listen to my Mom talking nicely to the Stray.  I was about to jump through the window when she said, “I wish I could take you in, but I can’t.  You probably need vet care, and I can’t afford it.  I’m sorry!” as she walked back into our home.

I was very happy when my Mom said that.  I even thanked God that the Stray wasn’t going to get a home with us.  But then, that woman looked at me and said, “Grace, the least I can do is feed the poor thing. You have enough food for us to share it with that poor little kitten.”

I wanted to scream, “That ‘poor little kitten’ is a master manipulator!”  I knew that wouldn’t change her mind, though.  So, I had to watch her give the Stray my food.  Even worse, that manipulative kitten followed my Mom to our apartment door after she fed it.  It meowed sadly while it did that.  I was horrified, because I knew that I was one door-opening away from having to share my home! So, I prayed, God, help!  That cat is about to take over.  Please make it go away!

Things got quiet for a moment after I prayed.  Then, I heard Mom say words that were music to my ears, “Little one, I wish you could move in with us.  But, I can’t afford another cat right now.  I will pray for you, though!”  After that, my Mom walked the Stray out of the entrance door and closed the door on it.  After she did that, she walked into our apartment and said, “I feel like the worst person in the world for closing the door on that kitten.  Grace, let’s pray that someone takes it in.”

OK, as long as that someone isn’t you, I thought.

“I’ll get your Mom to take me in yet,” the Stray yowled. “I told you I’d get her to feel sorry for me!”

I ignored it.  I figured that this problem was over.  I was wrong.  That woman obsessed over that cat and then—

Oh!  Angelina’s at the window.  Something must be going on in our neighborhood!  I’ll tell you the rest of the story in my next post.  Bye for now, cats!

Mom’s on the Mend

Hi cats.  I’m happy to report that Mom’s on the mend.  I am glad, because when she is out visiting with her friends, I can have my friends over!  And, in spite of my last post, I was worried about her.  I mean, she was just lying around the house doing nothing, and that’s not like her.   I helped her by giving her lots of love and attention.  I even slept on the pillow with her like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think that’s what made her feel better.

So, now that I’ve cured my Mom—

Excuse Me?

OOPS, now that God is curing my Mom, I can tell you about all of the stuff that happened before she had her surgery done.  The first thing that I’m going to post about is how she almost rescued a kitten that I’ll call The Stray. In the meantime, if you wish, please pray that He continues to heal her.  I need my privacy!

Mom Just Had Surgery and She’s Driving Me Crazy!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope that all is well with you.

I wanted to let you know that Mom just had surgery.  Well, OK, not surgery but they had to knock her out to test her for something.  So, I am stuck with her for twenty four hours because she can’t drive since they gave her something called “anesthesia”.  Cats, she is driving me crazy!  Here are just a few of the things that she has said to me and what I thought as she said them:

“Gray-cie.  Come here.  I need a snuggie!”

I don’t think so.  You are in an altered state of consciousness so you may “snuggie” me to death.

“I don’t care what that stupid hospital said.  I need to get out of this house or I will go crazy!”

Mom, you’re already there.

“THEY WANT FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS FOR THAT MEDICATION?  HAVE THEY LOST THEIR MINDS?”

No, but you have!

“Gracie, don’t worry.  If something happens to me, I have at least two friends who will take care of you.”

Oh no. No!  I am not going to live with strangers.  If something happens to you, I will continue to live in this apartment where it’s safe. And, if any of your friends try “rescuing” me, they will get a face full of claws.

Well, you get the idea cats.  My Mom is not very pleasant to be around right now.  So, I am going to hide in the closet until she’s back to normal.  Type to you later cats!

I Won’t Post about Cats in Active Service Anymore!

Hi cats.  I’m sorry I took so long to post.  Between Mom hogging the computer, cleaning, and almost taking in a stray, I didn’t have a lot of time to write. I was too busy trying to protect myself from the horrible smells of the cleaning stuff she uses, and making sure that I did not end up with a little brother or sister! I will tell you more about these events in my next posts.

Also, I am never going to post about a cat that is in active service again.  After I did my last post, three cats came to my window.  They were tough cats who made it very clear to me that I could not describe them in this post. They told me that Yowler, the cat whose yowls scare the bad people, had to be taken off duty because of my post about him!  I told them I’d delete it, but they said that it was too late. The enemy had read it, and Yowler had to be snuck out of the country he was in!

So, I think I’m going to stick with posting about my Mom and I, and my secret friends.  I don’t want to jeopardize cational security!  And, if you are reading this, Yowler, I am sorry—

“Yooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllll!”

Errr . . . I guess that means he doesn’t accept my apology.  Type to you later, cats!

More Cat Veterans

The Persian Cats:  In about 525 B.C. cats actually caused humans to lose a battle.  What happened was that the human King of Persia, Cambyses II, knew that the Egyptians worshipped cats.  So, he let the Persian cats run loose on the battlefield.  Then, the Egyptians, who thought we were “gods” were afraid that they’d hurt us.  So, they gave up and ran away, which caused them to lose this battle.   This proves that superstition can kill you.  Also, it is another example of how easily we cats can manipulate humans.

Shania:  Shania was a beautiful brown and white tabby cat with green eyes like mine.  One of her best talents was making boy cats fall in love with her.  So, in World War One, Shania helped the freedom fighters from many nations by making Oscar the Spy Cat, who was one of best cat spies working for Germany, fall in love with her.  That made him forget to carry information to his humans since he could think of nothing but Shania.  Then, Shania ended his spying days forever by pretending she was in heat while jumping over a land mine.  Oscar followed her, fell on the land mine, and was blown up.  This changed the course of the war, and the freedom fighters won—with the help of another cat veteran.

The Detector Cats:  These cats were and are active in service.  They have the ability to know when their human/s’ enemies are coming to fight them.  When they sense trouble coming, they warn their humans who then take appropriate actions, such as hiding in a bomb shelter.  Please keep these cats in your prayers.  Their work is very dangerous!

These are the cat veterans that I know about.  If you know about a cat veteran, please post.  However, if they are currently fighting, please don’t post their real name.  That could get them killed.  If you’d like to learn more about how we cats have served in warfare, here is a link to an article about that:

http://suite101.com/article/the-use-of-cats-in-warfare-a214121

After you read this, remember to pray for the cats serving the free world.  Also, you may wish to pray that the CIA never ties bombs to cats again.  Oh, and thank you, Ms. Copley for letting me link to your article.  May God Bless you!

Grace da Centipede Warrior Cat

A short note from the Mommacat:  The above link does not imply that Jennifer Copley, or anyone at suite101.com endorses, sponsors or is in any way affiliated with graciesblog.com.   Also, we cannot guarantee the safety of a third-party website.  We have included this link only as a convenience to you.  Hmmm . . . I wonder if anyone reads this fine print. I guess I’ll never know . . .

Cat Veterans

OK, cats.  Here are a few of the cat veterans that I promised to tell you about:

Blackie (also known as “Boom!”):  Blackie was a male, black, long-haired cat with a patch of white on his chest. He helped our country, the U.S.A., win the Revolutionary War.  He did that by crossing enemy lines and pouncing on the soldiers who were about to shoot at us. This made them miss their targets.  And, Blackie used his unique growl to scare the living daylights out of the enemy soldiers.  Sadly, Blackie did not get to live a long life.  One day, his curiosity got the best of him, so he put a lit match on a keg of gunpowder to see what would happen.  I think all of you can guess what happened next.  The gunpowder exploded, and so did Blackie.  That is why he is also known as “Boom!”

Smoke:  Smoke was a grey, short-haired cat that helped the Allies in World War Two. Because of his color, and unique way of blending into crowds, Smoke was a terrific secret agent.  He snuck across enemy lines and carried secret papers, such as a breakdown of the Enigma code, to soldiers that didn’t know that he existed.  That led to prominent human mathematicians breaking that code, using Smoke’s information.  Sadly, the humans got the credit for Smoke’s work.  However, the cats of that time knew the truth, and he was knighted by the Queen of Cats in 1945. Smoke lived to be twenty years old and died of natural causes.

Alexia (Lexie):  Lexie was a beautiful, white, blue-eyed Persian cat that helped the Coalition fight the Gulf War.  Lexie befriended the enemy, and pretended to be nice to them. They felt safe with her since she was a Persian cat.  This led them to relax and pet her, which is a truly bad idea in wartime, since many of them were killed while they were doing that.  Lexie lived to be fifteen years old, and her kittens are still protecting our national interests in Iraq.

Yowler:  Yowler is a yellow male cat who has a yowl that could scare the bark off of a tree.  That’s all I can tell you, since he is still alive.  Yowler helps to scare mean humans out of their hiding places by letting out his very scary yowl.  This makes them think they are under attack—so they run right out of their hiding places and into the hands of the good humans who are trying to catch them.  Keep him in your prayers, cats, because his work is very dangerous!

I may tell you about more cat veterans later.  Right now, I just saw a centipede speed by, and I’m hungry.  So, I will type to you later, cats.

I Have Friends Again!

Hi cats. I know that I promised to tell you about the cat veterans, but first I wanted to let you know that I have friends again! After I typed my last post, I went to the window. I didn’t see my friends right away because all of them are hiding in shady spots because it is very hot in my neighborhood. I was pretty sure that they were in earshot though. So, I yelled, “Hey! Everybody! I am sorry that I yelled at you and said I never wanted to speak to you again. That was wrong.”

I waited for them to respond. It was a long wait. I was about to walk away from the window and give up when Angelina came out. To my surprise, she was crying. Then she said, “Grace, it is so good to have you back. All of us were scared that we lost you to that catnip forever!” I started crying too and replied, “Thanks to God, Ebony and her friends, I’m back. And, I don’t plan on ever using that stuff again!

After I said that, everyone came out and told me they were glad that I was back to normal. I couldn’t believe how nice they were to me after I’d been so mean to them. All of us had a nice talk, but they had to go back into the shade. When it’s 104 degrees out, cats have to keep themselves cool!

So, I jumped out of the window and went to lie down in the coolest part of our apartment. There, I thanked God that I had my friends back. And, I made a vow that with His help that I will stay away from catnip—forever. And, I really believe that I can do that, one day at time.

I have to go because I am tired. I promise that I will tell you about a few of the cat veterans that helped our country (the U.S.A.) and many other countries to be free in my next post. Until then, again, please feel free to e-mail me if you have a catnip problem. It will help me to help you.

Happy Fourth of July Everyone!

Hello, it is me, the Mommacat.   Before Grace takes over, I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy and Safe Independence Day.  Also, I wanted to thank all of the veterans—past, present and future—for keeping our nation free.  May God Bless all of you.  All of you, both men and women are not forgotten!

OK, Mom.  Enough of the mushy stuff!  I want to tell everyone about the CAT vets—and I am not talking about veterinarians here!

Oh, all right.  Here’s the computer, Grace.  Grace?

Centipede!  I’ve got to get it. Type to you tomorrow, cats!

And I need some sleep.  G’night!


I Found Out that I Do Have a Catnip Problem!

Hi cats. I am sorry I took so long to type to you. After my last post, I was so tired that I slept for almost two days. Then, I awoke to a new voice saying, “Psssssssst. Grace! Do you want to talk?” Now, I usually am crabby in the morning and don’t want to talk to anyone but my Mom. However, I was curious about who the new cat was. So, I went to the window. The cat that was sitting there was a beautiful black long-haired female cat with golden eyes. Before I could speak, she looked at me and said, “Hi, Grace. My name is Ebony. I heard from your friends that you’ve been going crazy for catnip. Is that true?”

I wanted to scream, “NO!” and tell her to go away. But, there was something special about her that wouldn’t let me do that. She had what I can only call a glow about her. So, I mumbled, “Well, maybe.” Then she smiled at me and told me, “I used to love catnip too, Grace. Would you like to hear my story?”

“OK,” I replied. I figured that hearing her story would take my mind off of how bad I was feeling. I didn’t know that her story would change my life.

Ebony told me how she loved catnip like I did. She said that she had a lot of fun with catnip—at first. But then, she shocked me when she told me that she got to the point where she had to have it. Her catnip craving made her do all kinds of crazy things like claw her humans when they wouldn’t give her catnip, and tear up everything in their house. Her humans got so mad at her that they made her live out in a cold garage. After she’d stayed there for three days, Ebony prayed, “God, please help me!”

Ebony smiled when she told me what happened next. She said that three cats came over and told her about how they used to have a catnip problem, and what they did about it. After hearing their stories, Ebony knew that she had a problem too. So, she decided that she didn’t want to ever use catnip again. And so far, with the help of God, and her new friends, she has been able to stay away from it. Best of all, after her humans saw that she was behaving, they let her move back into the house with them.

After she finished her story, Ebony looked at me straight in the eyes and said, “Grace, do you think that you have a problem with catnip?”

I wanted to say, “No.” But, for some reason, I couldn’t lie to her. So, I began to cry and said “Yes, I do. Now what do I do about it?

I really can’t tell all of you everything that Ebony told me after that. I can say that with the help of God, Ebony, and some of her friends, I am going to stay away from catnip—one day at a time. And, I have to do some things that I really don’t want to do—like apologize to Angelina and all of the cats that I yelled at. That won’t be easy. But, I know I was wrong, so I’m going to do that. I am going for now, but I will tell you if I have any friends left in my next post. Until then, if you think that you have a problem with catnip; please e-mail me by using the form on the “Contact Us” page. I may be able to help you. Thanks!

It’s Day Four without Catnip and I Am Not Happy!

Hello cats.  Today is Day Four without catnip, and I am not happy about that!  I would like to call the ASPCA, but I don’t have the energy to do that.  That’s because I have spent all of my waking hours looking for that toy with the catnip in it.  I haven’t found it, though.

And, my friends in the neighborhood are not helping me one bit!  Yesterday, I yowled out of the window, “Hey!  Do any of you have any catnip?  I’ll trade you my bird toy for it.”  All of them looked at me and shook their heads.  Then, Angelina had the nerve to say, “Grace, none of us are going to give you catnip.  We think you have a problem.”  When she said that, I flew at the window and tried to jump her.  Sadly, I couldn’t go through the glass, so I never got her. In fact, I almost knocked myself out.  However, I did manage to stalk away after I told her and all of those miserable cats that I will never speak to them again!

Right now, I am exhausted, so I am going to try to get some sleep.  I’m hoping that after I wake up, I’ll be able to track down that toy.  I’ll let you know what happens in my next post.  If you wish, please pray that I find it.  Thanks!