How I Stopped my Mom from—FLIRTING!

Hi cats. Here is the post that I promised you about how I stopped my Mom from being a flirt.

This whole problem started when she took longer to wash her clothes in the laundry room. When that happened, I figured she was fighting for washers and dryers. Well, cats, that’s not why she was taking so long. She was taking forever to do her laundry because she was talking to a male human in the laundry room. I found out about that from my friends who occasionally spy on her.

I solved that little problem by going in the window and acting crazy whenever that guy peeked at our apartment. After my latest display, I think I have scared him away—forever. However, that didn’t stop my Mom! The next flirtatious move that she made was when she flirted with the AT&T guy. Here is the conversation that she had with him:

Mom: How do you climb that big pole all by yourself?

AT&T Guy: If you stick around, I’ll show you. After he said that, he puffed out his chest and threw two hooks into the pole, and began to climb it. My Mom watched him with interest. However, she had something to do so she sighed and said, “Well, I’ve got to go—”

“Are you through looking?” the AT&T guy interrupted.

“Yes,” my Mom replied. Then she added, “I don’t want to distract you.” After she said that, she went back into our courtyard where the guy couldn’t see her.

I thought that problem was over with, but you will faint when you hear what happened next, cats. A few days later, my Mom walked out of our apartment and guess who was there? The AT&T guy! My Mom said “Hi.” to him and he reminded her of how he’d been “the guy on the pole last week.” Thankfully she had something to do that day so she told him she had to go. I can’t put what he said after she left on a family blog. However, he has given up on flirting with my Mom.

At that point cats, I’d had it. So, I did several things to stop my Mom from flirting including:

  • Pretending I was indifferent to her by curling up in a ball like this:Yes, I Am Ignoring You, Mom!

 

 

 

 

 

  • Throwing up a lot which both grossed her out and kept her too busy cleaning up after me to flirt.
  • Yowling, howling and generally acting crazy around our windows to discourage any of those men she’s flirting with from coming to our home.

It’s been a long battle, but I think I’ve won. It’s been a week since my Mom has flirted with anyone. Oh! She’s talking to me. Let me see what she has to say . . .

“Grace! I’m going out with my friend B. today to a festival. I wonder if there will be any cute guys there?”

Oh, no. No! I’ve got to go cats. I think I’ll pretend I’m sick to make her stay home. I’ll tell you what happened in my next post.

Update

Hi cats. How are you? I hope that all is well with you.

I am sorry that I haven’t posted for so long. I have been very busy controlling my Mom, who was turning into a flirt. Also, I have been working with all of the cats in my neighborhood to control the Construction Destruction that is devastating our neighborhood. As of today, we cats have taken care of most of the problems with it. So, I have time to post now. My next post will be about how I stopped my Mom from being a flirt. Type to you soon cats!