I’m Going to KILL that Mom of mine!

Hello, cats. I know that I said that I’d post about my friends in the neighborhood. However, my Mom did such a horrible thing to me yesterday that I just had to post about it!

Yesterday, I knew the day was not going to be good when I heard a knock on the door. I do not like strangers, so I took evasive action by hiding under the bed. The male human that was knocking said he was here to set up our new phone and Internet service. However, I noticed that he was checking out my Mom more than the phones or computer that he was supposed to set up. So, I rustled under the bed just to let him know that I was there, and that if he even touched my Mom, I’d claw his eyes out. He chuckled and said, “Oh, my cat hides too.” Mom smiled at him and said, “Oh, then you know what it’s like.” I think that man just said that to get my Mom interested in him. I’ll bet he doesn’t even have a cat!

Next, my Mom did something that shocked me. After saying, “I’ve got to go and do the laundry. I’ll be right back,” she walked out of the door, and left me alone in the house with a stranger!  I was terrified because that man could have been a psycho cat killer in a phone guy uniform. So, I stayed under the bed while plotting ways that I would claw his eyes out if he tried to hurt me.

Thankfully, that didn’t happen. However, I am furious about this—especially since my Mom kept leaving me alone with that man so that she could “finish her laundry.” I mean, what is more important to her—her clothes or her cat? After two hours of horror, that man finally left. That gave me plenty of time to figure out ways to punish her. Here are just a few of the things that I’ve done to her so far:

  • I left a nasty surprise for her in front of my litter box. Sadly, she didn’t step in it.
  • I threw a ball at her at 5:00 A.M hoping to leave a bruise. She thought I was playing with her. I wasn’t.
  • I am tearing up the closet right now. She just yelled at me, so I’ll stop—for now.

I have other things that I’m planning to do to her, like clawing up her clothes when she goes to sleep tonight. Right now, though, I’m going to be very nice to her so that she doesn’t know what I’m up to. I’ll be checking this blog after she goes to sleep, so if any of you cats have ideas about other ways that I can punish her please post. Thanks!

The Medicine Wars: Part Two

Hello cats. This is the post that I promised you that will tell you more about what that evil woman is doing to me.   I am about to get very graphic, so if you are a kitten who is less than six months old, please don’t read any further.  What I’m about to post will give you nightmares.

What that woman has been doing to me is taking a large medicine syringe that is bigger than my face, forcing my mouth open, and then squirting vile-tasting medicine down my throat.  She tells me this will prevent me from getting a really bad infection.  I think she’s doing this to torture me.

I have evaded her many times, but she has become as sneaky as a cat!  So, she has managed to capture me fourteen times to do this to me.  However, I am not without defenses, so here are a just three of the things that I’ve done to her in revenge for what she’d doing to me:

  1. I scratched her arm while pretending to stretch.
  2. I tied her favorite jewelry into a knot like this

 

 

 

 

 

 

3: I treated her to a half hour midnight concert of yowling, growling and howling to remind her of what I’m capable of, while giving her dirty looks like this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

None of these things have stopped her though.  However, I think I have come up with the perfect strategy to make her stop giving me medicine.  As soon as she does that again, I will put my paw down my throat and make myself throw up!  Then, she’ll think the medicine made me sick, so she’ll stop giving it to me.  Oh!  I see she has the syringe in her hand.  She is about to get a nasty surprise.  I will tell you what happened in a minute . . .

Continue reading

The Vet Visit

Hello, cats.  I am going to tell you the story of yet another horrible visit to the person who that woman calls the veterinarian (vet), and I call the cat torturer, in words and pictures.  This whole nightmare started when Mom found out I had red bumps behind my ears that were bleeding.  So, she decided to take me to the vet.  Here I am right after she captured me:

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, I was not happy.  After this picture was taken, I had to endure two horrible things:  Mom’s driving, and her singing to me as she did that.  Yowwwl!  After that, we arrived at the vet’s office.  Here is a picture of me before that torturer came into the room:

 

 

 

 

 

 

What happened next was so horrible that I’ll just tell you about it.  That man squeezed the already sore spots behind my ears. That hurt!  Then he told Mom that he “strongly suspected a spider bite.”  After that, he gave Mom some medicine to give me.  Then, I was back in the carrier and had to endure yet another drive with Mom as she sang to me—again.  This is how I felt about that:

 

 

 

 

 

 

We finally arrived home, where I had another unpleasant surprise waiting for me.  Mom actually gave me the foul-tasting medicine that the vet gave her.  I plan on stopping that.  Until then, this picture shows exactly how I feel about this whole matter:

Angrily,

Grace who is going to get the vet and my Mom too!

She Got Me Again!

Hello cats.  Guess who took me to the torturer veterinarian again? My Mom.  Would you believe she grabbed me while I was sleeping, wrapped me into a towel, and shoved me into that horrible thing known as a cat carrier?  Here is a picture of me in that torture chamber:

After a horrible car ride, during which I yowled as loudly as I could so that woman would turn around, I arrived at the veterinarian’s office.  As you can see, I was ready to claw his face off:

 

Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to do that.  Before I could lift a claw to him, he managed to give me two shots. Once he did that, I ran back into the carrier to get into a better defensive position.  Sadly, he walked away, so I never got to claw him. So, after another scary car ride, I got home.  Then, that woman finally gave me some salmon, which I enjoyed:

However, I do plan on punishing my Mom for what she did to me.  Right now, though, I am hiding under the bed so that she can’t get me again.  Type to you later, cats! Oh, and thank you to the nice programmers at superlame.com for helping me to express my thoughts!