Everyone’s On Herb and That Hussy’s Side!

Hi cats.  How are you?  I hope that your lives are going better than mine.

After I typed my last post, I went to the window to see what Angelina wanted.  Once I got there, I saw that Simone the Stealth Cat was with her.  I was happy to see both of them—especially Simone.  She is great at sneaking around.  So, I figured Angelina brought her over so that she could help me to sneak out of the house.  So, I said, “Hi Angelina and Simone.  I’m so glad that both of you are here.  Now, will you tell me how you two will get me out of this house so that I can give Herb and That Hussy the clawing they deserve?”

There was a long silence.  Then, Angelina looked at me and said, “That’s not why we are here.  We came to talk to you about how mean you have been to Mimi—her name is Mimi, not ‘That Hussy’—and Herb.”

“I wasn’t mean,” I replied.  “Both of you saw how Herb made me think he was in love with me, while knowing That Hussy was going to have his kittens.  That’s wrong.  Now, I want you to sneak me out of this house—now!”

“That’s not going to happen,” Simone stated. “I don’t use my stealth skills to help cats get revenge on each other.  And, I know that Herb never told you that he loved you.  I think that you came up with that idea yourself—“

“He acted like he was in love with me!  He was at my house every day.  So, he led me on,” I interrupted.

Simone let out a deep sigh.  Then she said, “Maybe Herb did lead you on a little bit.  But, what about Mimi?  She is homeless and is expecting kittens.  Have you forgotten what that feels like?  I read your blog, so I know that happened to you.  Can you turn your back on her when you know exactly what she’s going through?”

“That was different,” I screamed.  “I was only five months old when I got pregnant.  Herb and Mimi are a lot older, so they should know better!”

Both of them looked at me and shook their heads.  Then Angelina said, “Yeah, like you knew better, Grace?  I remember when you told me about how all of the female cats in your old neighborhood treated you like dirt when you got pregnant.  And, you even bragged about how you stole another cat’s boyfriend while you were in heat.  So, who are you to judge?”

After Angelina said that, I lost it, cats.  I screamed, “I don’t want to hear another thing that either of you have to say!  If you’re on her side, you’re not my friends anymore.  Now get out of here!”  Then, I jumped at the window to get them. Sadly, all I did was knock myself in the head again.  They did leave, though, after they’d hissed at me and told me that they hoped I’d enjoy being alone.

Well, so far, I am enjoying being alone.  The only thing that I’m upset about is that I can’t find a way to sneak out of this house and get Miss Mimi and Herb.  So, I need your help, cats.  If any of you have gotten out of the house successfully, please tell me how you did that.  Then, I can get my revenge.  Thanks!